“Ach, I ken ye better than that. I’ve never kent ye to care about destabilizin’ alliances if someone was bein’ hurt,” Lucas scoffed with a shake of his head. Then, his voice grew quieter, taking on a more thoughtful inflection. “Perhaps… ye’re afraid of losin’ her.”
Darragh straightened in his seat, his hands balling into fists on the arms of his chair. Across from him, Lucas remained completely still. His posture was still casual, but he was no longer hiding the sharp edge of his consideration.
There was no way that Lucas had observed enough to understand the storm that was swirling in Darragh’s mind. He couldn’t know that when Darragh looked at Amelia, he saw boththe feral, trembling girl he found in the tower and the warm, pliant woman he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing?—
This has gone on long enough.
“We should head to the solar,” he said, his voice clipped and final. Lucas had pried enough. “Surely the girls are nearly back to the castle.”
He stood up then, walking over to the door without giving Lucas any more of his attention. When his hand landed on the latch, he stopped. Lucas stood, seeming to accept that the conversation was over, his chair creaking as he removed his weight.
“Our situations are nae the same, Laird McGowan,” Darragh said, making it clear that this was not to be discussed again, at the very least not this evening. Not when they were on their way to meet the women. “I appreciate yer insight, but that doesnae change what I must do.”
* * *
“Amelia,” Flora said, stopping her with a hand on her elbow. Her touch was light, undemanding, but it was like a breeze in the air, unable to be ignored for longer than a moment. “Before we go inside, there is one more thing that I’d like to speak with ye about.”
Amelia’s feet stopped moving, and the forest with all of its nocturnal sounds to their backs seemed to grow a little louder. The walk had been unexpectedly refreshing, healing more of herthan her weeks of rest had. Flora’s tone was a shift away from that peace, almost enough to raise her walls once more, but the kinship Amelia felt with the other woman settled her.
“What is it?” Amelia asked carefully, glancing down at where she was being held. She didn’t pull away.
She’s nae doin’ it to make me uncomfortable.
“I just think ye should ken,” Flora said as she let her hand drop to her side, the comforting warmth lingering through Amelia’s gown. Amelia found that she missed it the second it was gone. “Darragh’s been lookin’ for yer family. When he sent for Lucas and me, he was out searchin’. I daenae ken what he’s found, but I assume he hasnae told ye what he’s been doin’. He seems quite determined nae to bother ye with it.”
When she processed what Flora had said, Amelia found she wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t given much thought to Darragh’s absences; she was aware of how many responsibilities came with the title of laird. She was now one of those responsibilities.
It’s nae wonder he doesnae ask me opinion. He simply sees me as an item on his task list.
“Nay,” Amelia said, a shiver running through her entire body. It wasn’t a particularly chilly evening. “He dinnae tell me that he was out searchin’. He dinnae tell me anythin’.”
Fear gripped her, an icy hand that squeezed her stomach and lungs. The fingers dug in deep, and no amount of squirming would lessen their pressure. So, she leaned into it, deciding to try something different.
She felt sick, but the world wasn’t closing in on her as it had before. Instead of being choked, starved of air, she was able to force breaths in. The pinpricks of terror receded further each time she pressed upon them. When she exhaled, her breaths were steady when they came out.
“I think he dinnae tell ye to keep ye from bein’ upset and workin’ yerself up about it,” Flora mused, her voice still soft and gentle. There was no hint of pity, nor was she downplaying the severity of Amelia’s reaction. “I’ve found that men are a wee bit foolish. He’s nae doin’ anything out of malice.”
I cannae keep gettin’ so upset. There’s nae reason to waste me energy. He’s nae tried to give me away. He’s told me he willnae. Why am I fightin’ this so hard?
Amelia tried to internalize Flora’s words. The other girl had no reason to lie. She believed that he meant well. Surely, that had to count for something.
“When Darragh told me that he wanted to invite the two of ye…” Amelia started after she got ahold of herself, unable to meet Flora’s gaze as she forced her pulse to remain steady. She focused on the orchard leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, the coolness of the evening. “… I dinnae want ye to come. I was surethat he was goin’ to use ye to get me family name and then send me away.”
“He’s nae sendin’ ye away,” Flora murmured, taking a few steps forward to begin their trip back to the castle, going slowly to make sure she was being followed. “He did ask if I could reach ye, but that’s nae the entire reason he wanted me to meet ye. He wants ye to have people ye can speak with, even if they arenae him.”
Seems he’s finally realized he’s nae me preferred conversation partner.
Amelia hummed, unsure of what to make of that. It was too big a revelation to have just now. Instead of trying to puzzle it out, she justfelt. The sensation was warm in her chest, melting some of the iciness that came with the initial suspicion. Toeing a rock out of her way, she finally looked at Flora.
“I’m quite glad that he invited ye, even if I was against it at first,” she admitted, her cheeks pink with shame at the way she’d resisted this connection. It had been childish, a hurt lass lashing out. She knew how to behave like a lady. “I was… afraid. I dinnae think that ye would be so kind. I thought that ye’d be… I daenae ken. I suppose I thought ye’d be workin’ with Laird Fraser or me father.”
“Nay, I’m nae workin’ for anyone,” Flora said, sounding amused. She folded her hands behind her back, looking toward the stars as they set a slow pace. “I just ken how ye may be feelin’. We dinnae suffer in the same way, but I ken isolation. I ken aboutnae bein’ able to trust the people ye thought were supposed to keep ye safe.”
Amelia fisted her hands in her gown, staring ahead at the well-kempt path. It was strange to have someone who understood even a fraction of what she felt. She didn’t know how to navigate a relationship like this. She didn’t know if she could trust that it was real.
But perhaps I’m goin’ to have to begin believin’ things again.
A few heartbeats passed, the two walking steadily in contemplative silence, before Flora spoke once more, “Why have ye been keepin’ yer name to yerself?”
