“I daenae want to go anywhere,” she said, surprising herself with the answer.
It’s because I already ken how I’ll leave, nae because I want to stay.
She looked at him finally, her jaw set tight. Even though she was struggling to make her mind work properly, she refused to let him see any sign of weakness. Forcing herself to sound sure of her answer, she said, “I trust that I can lock me door from the inside, aye? It’s far too much work to leave the keep.”
Darragh’s gaze bore into her, his eyes scanning her features. A niggling voice in the back of her mind whispered that he could tell how conflicted her mind was. He had mercy on her, not mentioning it.
“Aye,” he agreed, plucking the flower from her fingers. She resented the way the slightest touch from him settled the storm inside her. “But… there have been developments, and I daenae want ye to feel trapped.”
How does he think he can get away with sayin’ things like that to me? So casually, too.
“I’m stayin’,” she said, even though she was lying through her teeth. At least, she told herself it was a lie. “As long as me chambers are kept locked and I’m nae forced to do anythin’ I daenae wish to do, I’m stayin’.”
She didn’t know why, but the half-fib made her feel less certain of herself. The sensation was unnervingly similar to guilt. It was almost as if some part of her felt as though she owed him the truth.
“Nay one is goin’ to make ye participate,” Darragh assured, using his knuckle to gently lift her chin.
She hadn’t even realized she’d been shrinking away from him until he was reeling her back in. Despite how badly she wanted to resent the way she welcomed his touch, she couldn’t. Without intending to, she leaned further into the warmth he offered, just barely stopping her eyes from fluttering shut.
“Then I daenae ken why ye’d suggest I’d leave,” she muttered, though she wasn’t sure she was truly bothered by the offer. It was meant to be a thoughtful gesture, not the dismissal that she’d taken it as. She wanted to believe that, anyway. “I’m nae afraid of a bit of noise.”
Darragh hummed thoughtfully, a low sound that rumbled in his chest. With a gentleness that she didn’t expect, he tucked the flower behind her ear. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes as she shifted back half an inch. When she opened her eyes again, he was dangerously close.
Her breath hitched, and she froze in place. The air between them buzzed. A hush seemed to surround the area. He was watching her, doing nothing to conceal his smirk.
She was seconds away from letting the overwhelming desire take control when the castle doors opened. Snapping out of the daze, she coughed and turned away from Darragh. As the guards spilled out into the space to run their afternoon drills, she let the breeze cool her cheeks, her pulse pounding loudly in her ears.
“Ach, seems it’s time for me to get back to me duties,” Darragh said, his voice rough with restraint. He nodded at a man who walked past, slipping his mask of normalcy on with devastatingefficiency. “Ye should find Flora and bring her into the kitchen with ye. I’m sure she’d enjoy keepin’ ye company.”
Without giving her time to respond, Darragh walked away. He approached one of the guards, the timbre of his voice rumbling across the courtyard. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, and she wasn’t sure if it was because he’d broken her brain or if it was the distance.
I could do without him confusin’ me at the worst moments.
She stood there for another long moment, her fingers drifting up to the flower tucked into her hair. Her body still felt too warm, and her head was somehow the loudest and quietest it had ever been at the same time. When the guards’ eyes began to catch on her, she grabbed onto the edge of her apron to hide her shaking hands. Then, ignoring just how unsettled she felt, Amelia walked back to the castle.
And for reasons that she would never admit were due to Darragh’s encouragement, she decided that Nigell and Flora would get along and that it would be a shame if they weren’t introduced.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Ye must come to visit soon,” Flora said, taking hold of Amelia’s hands. She was dressed in her travel attire, though she seemed less than enthused to be leaving.
“I would like that very much,” Amelia replied, her chest aching with the truth of it, the pain soaking in deeper when she realized that it would never come to be.
There’s so much that will never come to be.
Already, the activity was picking up around the keep. Villagers employed by Darragh to help with preparations were moving through the courtyard, laughing as they carried out their tasks. Slipping away would likely be easier than she anticipated.
If Flora wasn’t still clinging to her, Amelia thought that she might be able to slip away right now. Not that she had any inclination to do so just yet.
“Ach, it’s about time that we leave,” Lucas said, clapping Darragh on the back and giving the courtyard a final, sweeping look. “If we move quickly, we can make it back to the castle in three days.”
“Thank ye for hostin’ us,” Flora said, finally dropping Amelia’s hands and stepping over to embrace Darragh. “Yer keep is wonderful.”
“Ye’re welcome to visit whenever ye like,” Darragh told her as they parted. “The castle is livelier with ye around.”
“I think that’s yer fox hunt and nae our presence,” Lucas laughed, resting a hand on Flora’s elbow. She melted into his touch, and the same ache from the night in the solar lodged itself in Amelia’s chest. “But we’ll take it as a compliment.”
“It is,” Darragh confirmed, infuriatingly unmoved by the scene in front of them. “It’s always a pleasure to see ye.”
