But reality was already seeping back into our cavern, along with the realization that I had once again let myself get swept up in the chaos that was Ryker.
Damn it.
With clear reluctance, Ryker pulled out of me and carefully lowered my legs before lying next to me. Just like the last few times we’d done this, he gave me a little space, which in Ryker’s mind, meant he settled close enough to me that I could feel the heat radiating from his body but technically we weren’t touching.
What had started as pure hate fucking between us had become . . . well . . . still hate fucking. But maybe something more than that. Or at least I thought it had, because Ryker had seemed to want to linger longer the last few times I’d tripped and fallen on his cock.
I wondered if this thing between us confused him as much as it did me. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask, but I crushed the thought.
This would not happen again, moonsdamn it.
We lay on the cool, hard surface of the cavern for several minutes. I tried to move to get more comfortable, only to let out a long hiss when a piece of rock jammed into my back.
“Next time, we should do this in a bed.” Ryker gave me a lopsided grin. “Yours or mine. Take your pick.”
“There won’t be a next time,” I said evenly.
“One of us always says that.” He shrugged. “And yet here we are.”
He wasn’t wrong. Although at first we’d both been adamant that it was a mistake, lately, it’d mostly been me. And while I could say I kept coming back here because I didn’t have a lot of options for a good fuck, which was true, I knew that wasn’t really what brought me back to this cave. To him.
A part of me could see a world where I did like Ryker.
There was just something about him that called to me. The days he came and sat in the library with me and was not an annoying twat were nice. I liked catching his scent while I was scouring for books in the stacks. Or returning to my table only to find he’d brought me a cup of tea without asking.
Always the right blend and temperature.
And I loved going on hunts with him. Racing through the woods with him felt right. Like a piece of my life I’d been missing.
But none of that mattered because Ryker would always be part of the Alpha pack, and I would never be. I was frustrated with myself for not seeing this sooner. Ryker had been so pissed the first time we’d slept together and had been adamant I not tell the others.
At the time, I’d thought it was because he hated that he’d wanted me so much. But now I understood it was because they thought I was a traitor and they’d all probably all agreed not to get involved with me in that way.
Recently, he’d been pushing me to go on runs with him—and come here—more and more. Was he only fucking me as a way to keep tabs on me?
I didn’t think Ryker was that devious, but I also hadn’t thought me being a part of the Alpha pack was a lie, and yet here we were.
It’s okay. You’re okay, I told myself. This is just another problem to solve.
I’d been trying to distance myself from Ryker because he was confusing and I hadn’t wanted to make my position in the pack even more complicated than it was. But my plan of just staying away from this fucking cave clearly wasn’t working.
I needed a new plan. Really, I needed two. Something short-term to get me some breathing space so I could figure out what to do long term.
“You’re doing that thing again.” Ryker sighed and propped himself up on an elbow so he could look down at me. “Plotting things I won’t like.”
“You and the other Alphas have your own plots that I definitely won’t like.” I rolled away from him and hopped to my feet. “So I’d say turnabout’s fair play.”
I walked over to the middle pool and jumped in, completely submerging myself in the warm water. My hair floated around me, and I ran my fingers through it before rubbing at my body to help get Ryker’s scent off me. Shifting would get rid of most of the evidence but scents could linger even after multiple shifts.
After Samara’s comment this morning, I’d be rinsing off again once I made it back to my room and scrubbing the remaining traces of Ryker off me.
Ryker waited by the pool’s edge as I waded back over. His arms were crossed and he had a stubborn expression on his face. “We should tell them about us.”
“First, you made it very clear from the beginning that you didn’t want them to know. Second, I agreed with you, and my answer is the same now as it was then.” I bared my teeth at him. “Breathe a word of it, and I’ll rip your dick off and shove it down your throat.”
“That threat had a little more bite before you came all over my cock half a dozen times.” He shrugged. “You may hate me, but I’m very confident you’re quite fond of that part of me.”
That small amount of dirty talk already had me wet for him. I tried to subtly press my thighs together, but based on the grin that slashed across Ryker’s face, it was too late.
