“Can we talk? In private?” Desperation dripped from his voice. His buddy raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing.
“How many of those has he had?” Olivia pointed at the beer glass Jake held in his hand. Caleb held up two fingers. Nadia and Jade looked to her. Nadia shrugged, but Jade nodded.
Her gut told her two beers wasn’t that many. He knew what he was doing. And there was a part of her that wanted to hear him out. She slid off her chair and placed her purse down.
When they came in she’d seen an area with pool tables that was much quieter, but within sight of the table. The billiards section was nearly deserted. Clearly this crowd was more into the arcade games on the other side. Her heels clicked on the floor. This was as alone as they were going to get.
She turned to face him and crossed her arms over her chest, shielding her breasts from his view. There would be no giving him ideas tonight.
Jake shoved his hands in his back pockets, his gaze darting around the room. She waited; she knew what he’d paid for that pitcher, he’d better use his time wisely. It was clear he hadn’t planned what he wanted to say. She’d only give him a little longer.
“I’m so sorry.” He finally looked at her face. “I can’t say it enough.” He shifted back and forth; God, he was cute when he was nervous. “I should have told Tony to shut up. I should have claimed you the moment you walked on the set. I don’t … I don’t make friends with people I work with. There’s too much backstabbing that goes on. I don’t let them get close.” He ran his hands through his hair. “But with you, there was this crazy connection that I haven’t felt with anyone else, ever. You’re the first person I’ve wanted to get close to in so damn long. And I can’t stop thinking about you.”
His voice wavered, and his eyes looked bloodshot. That might be the beer, but if he hadn’t been drinking, she’d think he was going to cry. A piece of the wall she’d erected to protect her heart loosened.
“I wasn’t asking you toclaimme.” Olivia spat out the juvenile word. “I was there as part of myjob, where we all work. You could have just insisted he treat me as a professional. You didn’t even have to say I was your girlfriend!” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “All I’m asking is to be treated like a human being with basic decency. That’sliterallyall you had to do. And you couldn’t even manage that. But thank you … for apologizing.” Olivia’s tender heart pounded behind her fortress, a caged animal trying to escape. But she held back.
“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
A smirk slid onto her lips. He was right. Hell, might as well tell him. Maybe then he would understand why she’d never fully handed over her heart. “When I was in college the quarterback was my assigned lab partner in Chemistry.” She had his attention now. “Chad claimed to have a secret crush on me. He’d pay for coffee when we got together to study; used language like ‘it’s a date’constantly. He led me to believe he’d date me once he passed the class. I was young and stupid. He used me all semester so he wouldn’t fail and lose his spot on the team. Then after the final, I knocked on the door to his dorm room thinking I finally had a chance.” Jake’s eyebrows drew down, understanding dawning. “And his girlfriend opened it.
“So as far as I’m concerned, jocks like you don’t actually want nerd girls like me. Or if you do, you don’t want anyone to know about it. I thought you’d be different since we’re adults, but I learned my lesson. And I won’t be someone’s dirty little secreteveragain.” Her heart pounded against its iron cage, desperate to let him back in. “So while I might love you, I can’t trust you.”
“Olivia … do you mean that?”
Shit. She hadn’t meant for it to slip out. This really was the worst time. Maybe she should lay off the tequila. For a moment she wondered if she’d given him hope, but he looked absolutely broken. Good. He fucked up a good thing and he knew it.
“You asked once who hurt me. That’s who.”
He was close. When had he moved? When he reached for her, she backed away. He clenched his hands and dropped them to his side. “I was never ashamed of you. I was ashamed of myself. Jocks aren’t only mean to nerds. I learned early on I couldn’t share my other passions with my teammates because of how they’d react. And there’s so much crap that goes along with being on TV that I didn’t want to relive that again. I thought by keeping us a secret at work I was protecting myself. I never thought it would hurt you. I never wanted that.” Jake closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “When I was dating Kristen, I asked her to watch some anime with me. She told Colton about it.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “During the game, he told my entire team that Kristen was disgusted to find out she was dating a nerd and had come to him because she needed a ‘real man.’ He exposed me to everyone. The rest of the year was hell because not only couldn’t I play my sport, my own teammates turned on me. They harassed me everywhere about it.” His voice cracked and his shoulders hunched.
Even with her emotions tamped to the point of nonexistence, another crack appeared in her armor. “I appreciate you sharing.”
“Can I contact you?”
She considered his request. “I don’t know when I’ll feel like answering.”
He nodded his head. “I understand.” His gaze traveled down to her feet and back up, like he was trying to soak her in while he was there. “Have a good rest of your night.”
“You, too.” She stepped around him to return to her table. Nadia and Caleb were arguing, shouting and waving their hands around. Fantastic.
