“I’m sure you have better things to do,” he replied.
I let go, and he curled his arm around his waist. He reminded me of Penny then, tucking into himself like he could hide his pain away.
I dipped my head to catch his gaze. “I always have time for my friends.”
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, then gestured for me to follow.
I handed off the horseshoes, and we made quick work of getting the rest of the horses fed and bedded down for the night. Neither of us spoke again until Thoma blew out the lantern’s flame and ushered me out of the barn.
“Can I walk you home?” I asked as we heaved the main door closed.
Thoma glanced over, and in the brief moment before his eyes darted away from mine, I caught a glimpse of shame.
“I still haven’t—” He huffed a sigh and sagged against the barn door. “I’m staying with Reimond’s family. I haven’t been able to… go back home yet. I can’t be there alone. I don’t know how to be there without him.” His tearful laugh made my heart ache. “It was alwaysourhouse. Together. Never separate. And I don’t want to go back. Because if I do, then it’s justmineand notoursanymore, and I don’t—” His breath hitched. “I’m no good alone.”
For years, I’d thoughtIwas meant to be alone. I was good at it, and I was better off that way. But Penny changed all of that. Now, the thought of living or working or sleeping alone left me with a heavy pit in my stomach. I couldn’t fathom a future without him. To me, a house was just a house, but Penny somehow made it home. And it had been a long time since I had a home.
Knowing where Thoma came from, the loss he’d suffered that drove him to Ashpoint, and the fact that Reimond had stepped in to fill that void, it was little wonder Thoma now sought out the family that was almost his.
“I’m glad you have his family still. I’m sure you’re a comfort to them right now, too.”
“I’m a burden,” he muttered. “Another mouth to feed and a reminder of what they lost.”
I’d entertained those thoughts, too, the morning of the third Oath. In the aftermath of my promise to look after Penny’s mother and sister, I’d considered whether they would want anything to do with me. It would be too easy for them to blame me for his death, and I couldn’t fault them for it. I would have blamed myself, too.
But our situation wasn’t Thoma’s. Reimond grew up here, and he knew perfectly well the risks he was facing when he decided to take his Oaths. Thoma hadn’t talked him into it or forced his hand. How anyone could blame him for Reimond’s death was beyond me.
I caught his arm, and his eyes met mine again. “Come have dinner with us tonight. I know Penny would be glad to see you, and you willalwaysbe welcome with us if you need someplace else to stay. We have a spare room, and it’s all yours should you have need of it.”
He chewed his lip for a moment, then managed a small, sad smile. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not up to being company tonight.”
“Tomorrow, then.”
He heaved a heavy breath, and his smile became a little more genuine. “I think I can manage tomorrow.”
3
Penny
Our next day in the forge found Kit a bit more affectionate than usual. More than once, he’d passed by while I was working at the leather bench and kissed the top of my head or my cheek. I enjoyed the attention, but it made it hard to be sneaky about hiding the project I’d undertaken after talking to Rosie.
Proper courtship required gifts, and I had an idea for one to start. Fixing more than a few saddles for Thoma had familiarized me with leather straps and buckles. And since I’d already completed one belt for myself as practice, I’d decided to make Kit a new one too. It was more practical than romantic, but it was a start.
In the early afternoon, we both stopped for a drink and gathered by the water barrel, using it as an excuse to stand hip to hip and talk. Conversation had barely begun when a third voice interrupted our quiet communion.
“Kitingor Koesters!” Anders’s big feet stomped the ground as he came into the shade, tracking snow into the dirt. He stopped and shook the sludge off his boots while chuckling. “Mouthful of a name, that one.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from his approach while downing the last of the water in my cup. He’d clearly come for Kit, so I would leave them to chatter. It would give me a moment to burnish the edges of the new belt.
I’d made it only a few steps toward the leatherworking table before Anders called out again. “And the ever-present Penwell Oliver!”
A low grumble escaped me as I set my expression to pleasant and turned to face him. “Well, Anders, Idowork here.”
The lumberman snorted and braced his arms across his burly chest. “Sure enough. Your roots in this run deep. Both of you.” He tipped his chin toward me then addressed Kit, who had moved into the space between Anders and me. “Kit with your dear, dead dad,” Anders continued, “and your new recruit adding a tally to our local pack of Olivers. Some relation of Merrick’s, I presume?” He peered at me, his eyes beady above his ruddy cheeks.
I didn’t have a chance to respond before Kit fired back, “Do you know many other blond-haired, green-eyed Olivers?”
Anders tossed his head toward me, and his grin took on a mischievous twist. “Yeah, I bet you like his pretty green eyes, don't you?”
