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“No, I heard you but I don’t understand. How can he possibly add the name of every person who wants to visit him on that list?” The man shrugged at me.
“It’s his responsibility to keep up with that. Now, can you step back so I can clear this line.” He dismissed me with his hand and waved the next person forward. I backed away feeling numb. It had taken me two weeks to find him, and then I drove four hours to the prison, which was almost to the North Carolina border. Now, there is a list? A list? What if Mack didn’t know that he had to make a list? I was about three seconds away from having a mental breakdown when I saw Brando walking through the heavy doors and through the waiting room.
“Brando.”
He turned his head in my direction and stopped walking. “Jonna?”
“Were you just visiting Mack?” I went to stand in front of him. He clearly looked uncomfortable as he shifted his eyes to the ground.
“Were you?” I repeated my question, and Brando jerked his head into a nod. “That means you’re on the list, and I’m not.” I felt like I’d been kicked in the chest and all of the air left my lungs. Brando was on the list and I wasn’t. On purpose. He didn’t want to see me. I backed away until I felt the edge of a chair then I fell into it.
“Jonna, he doesn’t want you to see him this way.”
“Why? I don’t care that he’s in here.”
“He does.”
I let out a long breath and slumped further down into the seat.
“Did you know he was here this whole time?”
“No, I just found out a couple of days ago. He was in two other places before he was transferred here.”
“Will you please tell me the situation? I can’t stand not knowing what’s going on.” Brando let out a long sigh then ran a hand over his face.
“He wasn’t granted bail, so he’s hired a lawyer.” He dropped down in the seat next to me, and then looked around before he continued speaking in a low voice. “He refused to give any names. If he had I would have been in here, too. I told him not to cover for me, but he wouldn’t listen.”
That definitely sounded like something Mack would do. I studied Brando and how similar his features were to his brother’s. Same dark hair and brown eyes. Brando was a bit taller and leaner than Mack’s shorter but bulkier build. So sitting here next to him was oddly comforting, since it was the closest I’d get to Mack for a while.
“Will you tell him that I came to see him?” When he nodded, I tilted my head up to study the brown water stains on the ceiling.
“What’s going to happen now? What do we do, Brando?”
“Wait, I guess.”
“This whole thing is so fucked up.”
“I agree.”
****
“I can’t look.”
“You have to.”
“But what if it’s positive?”
“Then it’s positive. You’ll be fine, Jonna.” Tayia squeezed my shoulder. I’d taken two pregnancy tests and left them in the bathroom, because I couldn’t stand in there and watch the little indicator windows. I was terrified and felt like I was going to throw up. I’d never thought about having kids. Of course I wanted them eventually, but I didn’t think it was something I would be thinking about this soon in life. This morning I went to the drug store and bought five different tests, just in case I needed more than one opinion.
“Has it been two minutes yet?”
?
??Jonna, it’s been ten minutes.”
“You go look.” I nudged Tayia into the direction of the bathroom. She shot me a glare, then sighed.
“Fine,” she said as she stomped forward. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, and it was as if time stopped. What would I do?
