The book I’d chosen was a Scottish romance, one they’d turned into a television show a few years back that I’d never watched. But it came highly rated. And within a few minutes, I’d forgotten all about sleep and Cash and had become deeply absorbed in the text.
“You’re still up?”
“Fuck!” I yelped as a dark figure stepped into the room right in front of me. My hand flew to my chest, my heart pounding a mile a minute. That was the second time in a single day someone had snuck up on me. “Good God…” I heaved, trying to regulate my breathing. “You scared me half to death.”
But Cash was grinning from ear to ear. “Never heard a preacher say fuck before,” he nodded. “You do that in your sermons too?”
“No,” I answered, feeling my cheeks burn. “I try to keep my sermons PG. Bad habit from my mother. She was a sailor in a past life, I swear.”
Cash chuckled, moving further into the light. He wore only a pair of loose pajama pants that hung low on his hips, revealing that perfect V-line I’d glimpsed in the shower. Dark hair trailed over his chest, down his abdomen, and dove under the waistline of his pants. My mouth went dry.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, dropping into the armchair across from me, his legs spread wide.
“Not really,” I admitted, closing my book and setting it aside. “Too much on my mind.”
His eyes, dark in the dim light, studied me with an intensity that made my skin tingle. “Like what?”
I swallowed hard. “The usual,” I lied. “Town rebuilding. People who need help.” I paused. “Saw Beau Turner today. He said to tell you hello.”
Something flickered across Cash’s face. It looked like surprise maybe, or nostalgia. “Beau, huh? Didn’t think he’d remember me.”
“He does. Said you’re welcome at his place anytime if you need somewhere to stay. He just got married last week to Lucas Greene. Though I guess it’s Lucas Turner now.”
Cash’s expression shifted from surprise to anger as he snorted. “I’m fine right where I am.” His eyes locked with mine, and heat crawled up my neck. “Unless you want me to leave?”
“No,” I said too quickly. “I mean, you’re welcome here as long as you need.”
The silence between us stretched, charged with something dangerous. I tried not to meet his gaze, worried he might see through me far too easily.
“It seems this town is a lot more accepting than it used to be,” I offered. “Beau, Brooks, Colt… they’ve all found love here and everyone seems to love them.”
“Yeah well,” Cash scoffed. “Good for fuckin’ them.”
“Maybe things have changed.”
“Careful pastor,” he growled. “Your ignorance is showin’.”
“Ignorance?” I looked up, meeting his gaze this time. His arms were crossed and his muscles were tight with tension. “Then enlighten me, Cash. Tell me what I don’t understand about your situation.”
“Everything, probably.”
“I know your father caught you with a friend and kicked you out,” I said. “And that nobody has seen you since.”
“You goin’ around town askin’ about me now?” He sat up in the chair, his anger blossoming once more. “That’s none of your fuckin’ business, you know?”
“I didn’t go asking around about you,” I said defensively, though my face flushed with guilt. “Beau brought it up when I mentioned you were staying with me.”
“And you just happened to mention me, huh?” Cash uncrossed his arms, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. The movement made his abs flex, and I had to force myself to maintain eye contact. “What else did good ol’ Beau have to say about me?”
“Just that you disappeared suddenly. That there were rumors about why.” I swallowed hard. “Look, I’m not trying to pry into your business. I just... I want to understand.”
“Why?” His voice was sharp as a blade. “So you can save my soul? Fix the poor broken gay boy?”
“No,” I said, even though he’d hit upon a truth I’d long known about myself. “Because I care.”
Cash laughed, a harsh sound that held no humor. “You don’t even know me, Pastor.”
“I’d like to.”
