‘OK, what?’
‘OK, so I’m definitely a l-l-lesbian,’ Maddy stuttered out, a little of the old Maddy returning. But given the circumstances, it was understandable.
Eva looked over. ‘Not bi?’
Maddy shook her head. ‘No. I don’t want to go into too much detail about my, er, former fiancé, but the disparity in experiences isabsurd.’
Eva didn’t want to act too pleased about that, so she simply took Maddy’s hand and held it quietly while Maddy let the confirmation percolate.
‘What happens now?’ Maddy asked eventually. Someone had to ask it sooner or later.
Eva turned to look at her. There was worry in Maddy’s expression. Not panic exactly, but perhaps the understandable concern of someone who had just detonated her entire life.
And the truthful answer was: Eva had no idea what happened now.
There would, presumably, be consequences. Conversations. Logistics. All the grim administrative tasks involved in dismantling one future and attempting to construct another.
But none of that felt remotely real yet. It didn’t have to.
Eva brushed a strand of hair away from Maddy’s face. ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted.
Maddy studied her for a second. Then, unexpectedly, smiled. ‘Good.’
‘Good?’
‘Yeah.’ She settled back beside Eva again. ‘We don’t have to figure out everything immediately.’
Eva exhaled slowly.
Then Maddy asked, ‘Are you okay?’
‘God, I don’t know,’ Eva said with a light laugh. ‘But I’m happy. I do know that.’
And she was. Better, she felt contentment. She’d never felt contentment. Not ever. She had worried that letting her feelings loose made her like her parents, a couple of chaotic addicts with no self-control. But she wondered now, and this was incredible, if she’d been more like them before today than she realised. All that control. She’d taken it too far, swung too hard in the other direction. She and her parents, both living at extremes. Both bad.
Eva was finding her middle. And she liked it.
‘How long is the honeymoon booked for?’ she asked Maddy.
Maddy smiled. ‘Ten days.’
‘Right,’ Eva said. ‘Then I think it’s reasonable to assume we won’t be leaving this room for at least a week.’
Maddy laughed into the pillow. ‘I really hope that’s true. I’ve got a lifetime of catching up to do.’
Eva sighed and gave her a cheeky smile. ‘You’d never have known it.’
Maddy flicked her a nervous look. ‘Honestly?’
‘I’d have thought that was obvious,’ Eva told her.
‘I mean, you did seem… happy. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up.’
‘Get them up. Get themwayup,’ Eva grinned.
Eva watched Maddy giggle and marvelled at the ease that had somehow arrived despite the chaos waiting outside the hotel walls.
And for the first time, the questions of a future outside her planner didn’t frighten her. They were beautifully unwritten.
