‘I wouldn’t evenknowwhat I need to know, would I? I’m a day-one amateur,’ Maddy said.
Eva started to laugh. ‘God, Maddy.’
Maddy tutted. ‘What am I saying? There’ll probably be something at the library that will get me up to speed.’
Eva laughed even harder. ‘Please stop. I willpeeif you keep going.’
Maddy smiled. ‘I like your laugh.’
‘I like how you make me laugh,’ Eva said.
Maddy’s heart jumped in her chest.
‘Maddy,’ Eva said, more carefully now, ‘about earlier. About what you said—’
‘Which part?’ Maddy cut in. ‘There have been quite a few revelations today.’
‘The part where you said you…’ Eva stopped, recalibrated. ‘You needed me.’
Right. That.
‘Ah, yes. My verbal diarrhoea on the landing,’ Maddy sighed. ‘That feels about a hundred years ago.’
‘It was about ten minutes ago,’ Eva informed her.
‘I meant what I said,’ Maddy said, feeling silly and not caring. She was trying the same thing again and hoping for a different response, and anyone could tell you that was the definition of insanity. But Maddy felt ready to get crazy. What else was there left to do but throw it all against the wall?
Eva looked down briefly, jaw tightening like she was arguing with herself. ‘You saying things like that,’ she said quietly, ‘is really not helping me be sensible.’
Maddy blinked. ‘Sensible?’
‘Yes, sensible.’ Eva gave a tiny laugh, though it sounded strained. ‘Because this is objectively a terrible time for me to tell you that every time you walk into a room, I forget what I was doing.’
Maddy’s breath caught.
‘Or that I’ve spent the last months trying very hard not to think about you too much. Which obviously went brilliantly.’
‘Eva—’
‘No, let me finish, because if I stop now, I don’t know if I’ll start again.’ She exhaled shakily. ‘I’ve been telling myself Icould handle this. But then I looked at you this morning, in that room, before the first wedding, and I lost my mind.’ She stopped, swallowing hard.
Maddy stared at her, suddenly terrified to move in case this vanished.
Eva laughed under her breath. ‘God, I’m so angry with you, actually.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes. You were supposed to be getting married. I had a plan. A very good one. I was going to keep being me.’ Eva smiled despite herself. ‘And then you had to go and ruin it by being funny and kind and looking at me like that all the time.’
Maddy’s chest felt almost painfully full. ‘Oh,’ she said quietly.
Eva’s eyes searched hers cautiously. ‘I don’t know what happens after today,’ she admitted. ‘Everything’s a mess. And I know this is complicated, and probably insane timing, but—’
‘Eva.’
‘What?’
‘You’re rambling,’ Maddy realised, delighted.
