“I feel a lot of affection for you, Mason.” His words come out as nearly a whisper, and I don’t realize he’s already bending toward me until he’s speaking against my lips. “You are beautiful and kind and funny.”
I can’t help the way I suck in a breath or the way I let it out in a sigh against his mouth just before his lips press to mine. I hold still, let him experiment all he wants. But when he doesn’t move, his mouth static against mine, a still pressure, I realize he doesn’t know what to do.
I smile against his lips and put some space between us before kissing him again, gently, but hard enough that he’ll learn that it can be more than a brush of lips. He makes a little sound that sends heat down into my skin, and I press harder, sucking at his bottom lip until he opens his mouth and I can slip my tongue in.
He gives a soft moan and takes my face in his hands, kissing me back sweet and a little sloppy. I’m halfway in his lap, the two of us devouring each other, when I taste salt on his lips.
I pull back, panic lancing through me when I realize he’s crying. “What’s wrong?”
He sniffles, laughs a little.“Nothing is wrong. This is good. Humanity is so beautiful,” he says.
Maybe if our current circumstances were a little different, it would be funny that he's crying over this, but right now, it's not.
I sit back on the couch, putting distance between us. “I’ve lived with humans long enough to know it's not always beautiful.”
“No,” he says, his voice solid, clear.“But I have also watched humans enough to know that there are so many that are beautiful. Like you.”
I huff a laugh. “Maybe we should get some sleep.” I stand, and his eyes follow me, full of something a little desperate, tear tracks still drying on his cheeks.
“May I sleep in your bed with you?”
He might as well have asked me if he could punch me in the stomach. The effect would have been the same.
“Um. Yeah. I mean, if it would make you feel better.” I haven’t shared a bed with a guy in… I don’t even know how long. My last long-term relationship was in college, before I moved out here to Black Forest. Since then, I’ve been so focused on work and the ley line research that I don’t mingle much, just the occasional hookup in town when I have the social battery to head out there.
I’ve always been more content to be on my own.
At least, I thought so. But the thought of having Starlight in bed with me, sleeping beside me, sounds quite nice.
He nods and stands. “I would very much like to.” He starts to smile, but then his face takes on a sharp expression, and he presses a hand to his chest.
I step forward. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “I am not sure. It was…” His eyes meet mine, and he drops his hand. “It is nothing. Just an odd pain. It is gone now.”
A pain. I don’t like the sound of that. I don’t like the idea of Star being in pain at all, but I suppose it’s part of being human.
In my room, I slip into my closet and change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, staring at myself in the floor-length mirror. I would normally sleep in my underwear, and looking at myself now, I feel like a little kid getting ready to go to school on PJ Day.
Star is already in bed when I step out of the closet, laying on top of the blanket. He’s taken the shirt off that he was wearing, and I’m suddenly second-guessing my own shirt. I want to know what it would feel like to press my bare skin against his.
I get in the queen-sized bed beside him, and for a long time, we just look at each other.
And then, when I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, he says, “Mackenzie told me about your parents.”
I guess I can’t be upset with her about that. I left them alone together for hours. What else were they supposed to do but talk?
“And she told me about how you took care of her when they died.”
I shrug. “Anyone would have done the same. She was already fifteen and I was nineteen. I couldn’t let her go to a foster home or whatever.”
I hold my breath when he reaches out and runs the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “You have a good heart.”
His hand falls between us, and even though I want to, I resist the urge to lace our fingers together on the mattress.
CHAPTER NINE
Star is still asleep when I wake up. I don’t even understand why he needs to sleep when doesn’t need to eat, but not too much about this situation makes sense, so I let it go for now.
