I smile, my eyes locked on the prominent muscles around his collarbone.It feels intimate, the way he asks, and I understand why he's asking, but thisisn't about jealousy or possessiveness. It's about my fear that if they know, they'll turnStarlight into a spectacle, that they'll come banging on my door, or they'll try and forcehim in front of the media.
I don't think I could stomach that.Yes, we all wanted to see something crazy happen, but none of us knew that the crazy thing wasgoing to be a whole new entity, a new person.I just don't think I'm ready to tell everybody that this is what happened.
Star isn't some kind of phenomenon; he's a person.He has feelings.I don't want him to end up getting hurt.
Just then, almost like I accidentally brought it to fruition, Star gives a little grunt, presses a hand to his chest.
“Are you alright?” I ask him, already pushing up to sit beside him.
He nods. “Oh yes, I'm fine.Just a slight twinge.” He points right in the center of his chest, over his heart.“I can only assume it is because my body is not accustomed to all of this.And in fact, I am not accustomed to having a body at all.”
Without the need for food, without it going through natural processes, will his body not survive long?We have no idea what we're working with here.If he came into the world fully formed, already fully developed,could he be living on an altered timeline?A lifespan different than a human's?
I reach out, press my palm to the center of his chest.His eyes fall closed and he lets out a long breath, like I've somehow healed him just by touching him.
“Does it hurt?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not hurt, exactly.Awareness.The knowledge that something is going on under my skin.”
I nod.
“What if I cannot go back?Or what if going back does not fix me?”
“I suppose that's always a possibility, but this has to be our first step, yes?”
His mouth turns down.And just like earlier in the woods, his eyes fill with tears.
“Star…” I push away the tear before it has a chance to fall down his cheek.
“It is okay,” he says.“I did not know it was going to be like this. I did not ask for this to happen, and now it has to unhappen.And so soon.”
My hand slides down across his sharp jaw to his neck, where, even though I don’t understand the workings of this human body he has,I can feel his pulse under my palm.
My phone beeps, and I pick it up where it lays on the mattress between us.
I look down at the text.
Might have an answer. Can we meet in person?
Marty. Kind of a strange guy, living on the outskirts of town, just like I do, but on the opposite side of Black Forest.
I stare at the text for a long time, until Star asks, “Is something wrong?”
I’m not ready to deal with the text, even though I know I should, that it becomes more urgent with every moment. I just need to keep this for a little longer.
“Do you want to go somewhere tonight?”
He smiles. “Where?”
“I know a place.Music, dancing.We'd have to drive into the city. It's a bit of a long drive, but…”
“I do not mind as long as I am with you.”
My stomach squeezes.If he's going to keep saying things like that, it's going to make it that much harder for me to say goodbye to him.
“Mackenzie could come with us.”
He nods excitedly.“Oh yes, I would very much like that.”
