In Anna, her agency was beautiful.
He itched to intervene, to rip the chip off of her. She didn’t need fixing.
She pulled her hands away from his, then leaned over, awkwardly, to pick at some blades of grass around the log. Then she grinned at him again. . . “Grass is still the same?”
He smiled back. “Same seeds brought over from Earth.”
Suddenly, her gaze whipped to his face. She waved the grass blades in the air. “The biggest question I have then is . . . why are you here, Atlas?”
Why? Her eyes pierced him. Did she not want him here? “Do you want me to leave?”
“No! No I don’t!” She waved her hands, then dropped her voice. “Well, maybe yes. I think it depends on why you’re reallyhere. I know you don’t see me the way Stella does, but then why are you here?”
“To help?”
“Is it just that though?” She let the grass drop from her fingers. “Is it because you feel bad for me? Is it because you’re technically my doctor?”
Her eyes. The vulnerability in them. Atlas could look at them forever. Be lost in them forever. And it wouldn’t be enough time. “. . . No.”
“Is it because you’re curious too?”
The sun suddenly felt bright overhead. Those eyes pierced him. Atlas picked his words carefully. “Initially, yes, I was. I did see you clinically before. I helped before because it was medically expected of me.” Then softer, he added, “That’s no longer the case, Anna.”
“Oh.” The fire in her eyes dimmed into softness. “Damn. . .You confuse me, Atlas.”
“Confuse you?” His mouth quirked. “Not as much as you confuse me.”
That familiar heartbeat of Anna’s galloped, then with almost a twitch, it slowed.
Without thinking, Atlas took his hand and put it over her breast where it pounded. “Ah sorry! Sorry! That’s not where I should touch.” He quickly pulled his hand away. “Sorry. Your heart started pounding. I think the neurochip made it slow back down.”
“Oh.” She bit her lip. “That is also another thing I wondered.”
“What?”
“I just want to be clear.” She pointed down to her body. “I’m not really interested in anything physical right now. If that’s also what you were thinking. Especially now, being pregnant.”
Atlas took a minute to understand. Anything physical?
“. . .You think that’s what I want?” He stuttered. “That’s what I’m here for?”
“I don’t know?” Anna’s voice cracked. “Isn’t that what men want? Why do they stay around? I’m not here to be an experiment, an adventure. A fun time with a human.”
His processors spun.The other humans used her.And then anger.Used and hurt her.The wind picked up, lifting her hair. She rejected him before, but it didn’t matter. He slid from the log and took both her hands in his.
This human.
“Oh Anna.” His voice softened. “No. I don’t see you as anything like that at all.”
“. . .You don’t?”
“No.” He held her gaze. “I am attracted to you, but not for that reason only.” He lowered his voice, staring deep into her eyes. “Something in me wants to hold you carefully. To be soft with you. There’s an ache that doesn’t make logical sense. When you cry, everything in me spins to figure out why.”
Tears came again. But this time her cheeks also flushed. “Oh.”
“I’m here for your heart.” Tentatively, he placed his hand over her heartbeat again, pushing firmly in. “I’m trying to figure this out.”
“My heart.” She echoed.
