It had been days since I last saw them on the weekend, my son Bane had made the soccer team for Richmond, and my daughter Lani had been made captain of her field hockey team this year. Both of them were achieving all their fucking goals and it was due to their mother, and not me. I’d made the choice a long time ago to protect them with everything I had.
That meant leaving them to be raised away from the clubhouse, and me. I missed the fuck out watching them grow, taking the hatred from my daughter, and the agony of seeing my son miss me. They were safe. That was all I could ever hope for.
My ex, Mari, sent me updates weekly on a burner phone. One that couldn’t be traced back to me. I got to watch them grow up, from a distance, and I was okay with that because I knew they were loved. Mari was a great mum, and she told me everything.
The club was my life. It always had been. Without it, I didn’t know who I was. I was a dad, sure, but I knew I’d fuck up, just like my own father had. I didn’t want this for them, but me…I was too ingrained in it.
Looking down at the date, I saw that it was Saturday. Bane’s soccer team would be playing today. Deciding then and there, I made a move toward the fields in Richmond, hoping it was a home game. As I rode through the streets, I pushed it all aside. The pain, the longing, the need for someone to call my own.
I was Maverick.
The one no one attached themselves to because I was never going to stay. I wasn’t going to replace my ex with another woman. It had never been because I didn’t want to be with Mari.It had been because we were better as friends than lovers. I could sit and talk to her for hours without the need to touch.
That wasn’t normal, right? Not at that age.
We’d been young when we married and had Lani. Too young to know any better, and both from families with dynamics that weren't healthy. We wanted to make a family that we loved unconditionally.
And I’d fucked that up, too.
Sins of the father, and all that.
Once I pulled up in the empty parking area, I took my kutte off, and folded it up in my saddle bag, before I headed over to the stands. Sitting up in the top row, I flicked through my phone, looking for a reason to get called back to the clubhouse.
There was none.
We didn’t have an active war on our hands, and everything was being handled. I fucking hated it. I needed a reason. A reason to keep myself busy and not come to my kids’ games on the weekends. Lani hated it when she saw me, always flipping me the bird and going onto the field with a new wave of fury that could have rivalled my own.
I envied her for it. She could be wasting her life wanting to know why I wasn’t around, instead, she hated me. Hated that I was a deadbeat dad, hated that her little brother still idolised me.
My baby girl was going to be a fierce woman, and I loved that for her. I loved that no man was ever going to treat her the wrong way. Not that I’d give them the chance.
The second a man treated any woman the wrong way, I was going to insert myself into the situation and deal with it. It’s just who I was.
It’s who all of us at Shackled Sons were.
Violence against women, verbal or physical, was unacceptable.
The car I’d been hoping to see circled the parking lot before parking a little bit down from where my bike was. Mari had seen it.
She knew the drill.
Don’t bring attention to it. He couldn’t know or he’d get his hopes up. I should have parked down the way a bit, but I hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly.
She got out of the car, looking around casually, until she spotted me. She gave me a little nod of acknowledgement, before she helped Bane with his bag. He had his uniform on and his bag slung over his shoulder. God, he was getting big. He was almost as tall as Mari now.
Fuck.
I was missing it all.
Bane moved over to the field where a couple of the kids who had already arrived were warming up. Mari headed to the bottom of the bleachers, and took out her phone. I removed the burner from my pocket and waited.
MARI
You didn’t tell me.
Last minute decision. I can go.
MARI
