I couldn’t think like that. I had to ensure both me and Tavi came back from this. For him. For my own kids.
“Ease up, bud, you’re choking me.”
Slowly, he pulled away from my neck and I sat down on the bed with him, drying his little puffy cheeks.
“I need you to be a big boy, can you do that for me?”
Van’s head nodded. “Big boy.”
“That’s right. I need to go and get your mama.”
“Mama left.”
“No, mate. She didn’t leave…she just got…lost, and I need to go get her, okay?”
His lip wobbled with a new set of tears appearing in his eyes. “I be good. I pwomise. I won’t cry no more.”
Fuck me. My heart was tearing into shreds. He thought this was because he was crying and it destroyed me.
“Van, I’m not leaving you. I promise you. You’ve been a good boy, I know you have. You’re strong, and brave, and one day you’re going to ride around on a Harley like me, okay?”
He smiled through his tears and slowly nodded his head. “Vroom, vroom.”
I chuckled at his sound effects. “Yeah, kid. When I get back, we’ll go for a ride, okay?”
“I go with you.”
“I have to do this alone, mate. I promise I’ll see you again.”
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, dickhead.
He nodded his little head, but I could see the heartbreak on his face. A knock on the door had me looking up to see Chaos standing there, Bane at his side.
“Okay, bud,” I said. “I need you to go with Bane for a few hours.”
Immediately, Van clutched onto me again. I ushered Bane in and he tried to help me pry Van off me. His screams were gut wrenching, but I had to do this. Chaos helped unpeel Van from my body and Bane took him, holding him close as I left the room with Chaos, my entire system crashing at hearing his distress.
“Daddy!”
I stopped in my tracks. He was crying out for me. He needed me.
“He’ll understand when Tavi is back, brother,” Chaos said, shoving me forward. “He’s safe. He’s got his brother. Come on.”
Chaos didn’t understand. He wasn’t a dad. He didn’t know what that terrified scream did to me. I had the need to calm him down, to make sure he was okay.
“He’s with Bane, Mav. He’s safe here. I promise you.”
He was right. I knew he was. Still, I needed him to shove me away from the door and away from the little boy who was screaming out for me, and calling me Daddy. Just like the day he did in the shop.
Fuck.
How my life imploded since then, yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Maverick
The casino was loud and bright, and somehow, it felt more obnoxious than the one we visited in Brisbane. Mannix was here with his men, off to the corner of the main floor, and effectively ignoring us.
My pulse was spiking, my eyes darting everywhere to try and see where she was. Would she be out here, in the open, or would he have her chained up in a back room somewhere?
