I groan as I drop my face into my hands.
I haven't had enough coffee yet to figure out what the hell last night was, with me remembering the safe word andnotusing it with a masked stranger with a fucking knife to my throat as I came all over his fingers.
Jesus.
I squirm in bed, the same question lingering in my head as I had throbbing through my veins when I got home last night—shaking, trembling,buzzing.
What would have happened if he’d kept going?
What if it didn’t stop with just fingering? What if he’d wanted me to return the favor? What if he’d wantedactual sex?
I swallow.
Plenty of people have wild stories about losing their virginity in college. But somehow, I think “a masked stranger wielding a knife playing out a non-consent fantasy” might be a little above and beyondwild.
The rational, sensible part of me wants to indignantly add thatof courseI wouldn’t have let that happen.Of courseI’d have used the safe word before it got to that.
…ButwouldI?
With a sigh, I throw back the covers and get out of bed. I catch my reflection in the full-length mirror and grimace at my disheveled appearance, suggesting I was tossing and turning all night because of my dreams.
Both the fantasiesandthe nightmares.
Then I blink, frowning as I step closer to the mirror, my gaze stabbing into the reflection of my neck.
What thefuck…?
I stiffen when I realize what the little red lines are.
They’re tinycutsfrom the edge of his knife. They’re reminders of that final moment before the fall, when I started to—mortifyingly—orgasmfor the stranger, and spasmed so hard that his blade nicked me a few times.
I need help.
Just as I turn away, I gasp and suddenly whirl back to the mirror.
Fuck.
Besides the cuts and some light bruising—alsocourtesy of the insanity last night—my neck is bare.
My necklace with the wolf pendant is missing.
I rush over to my bed, where I carefully remove every sheet, pillowcase, duvet cover and blanket before checking under and behind it. I check the floors beneath my desk and dresser. I step into the shared bathroom that connects my room to Wren’s and look on the counter and the floor, in the shower and the sinks. But I already know from worrying about this before that thependant that I’ve worn almost every day since Dad got it for me when I was ten is too big to drop down the drain of either the shower or the sink.
I start to retrace my steps. Then a horrible thought hits me. I think I know where I might have lost it.
Not tossing and turning in bed. Not showering.
No, the smart money is that it fell off in the mad chase around that bedroom last night.
Shitshitshitshitshit.
I groan into my hands, then take a shaky breath. Okay, it’s not the end of the world. I don’t really know anyone in Para Bellum that well. But…it wouldn’t be a stretch to go over there and ask if anyone found a necklace, right? I mean, it’s not like I'd have to give the details ofhowI lost it.
I slump against the wall, frowning before turning to look at the other bathroom door.
I should check on Wren.
I felt terrible leaving so early last night. But I did make sure Ari and Galina would look after her. Plus I wasn’t asleep yet when they brought her back to Morvaine Manor last night, quite drunk, and I helped get her undressed and into bed.
