Especially not Daddy.
* * *
By the time I finally made it home, I was a shaky mess. I decided not to use the complimentary valet and instead drove into the garage myself because I didn’t want to talk to anyone, let alone look at them. The evidence of my orgasm was still sticky on my thighs and when I pulled into my space in the parking garage, I dug into my dashboard and found a package of tissues. Hastily, I grabbed one and tried to wipe away the wetness from my thighs. I finally felt clean after using three of them.
With a heavy breath, I tugged my skirt back down over my thighs and cried out softly as it scraped over my bare bottom. I lifted my head and pressed the back of it against the seat.
For several long moments, I simply drew in one lungful of air after the next. There was a buzzing numbness spreading across my limbs. It almost felt like a warm embrace after everything I’d been through tonight.
When I’d finally gathered myself enough, I opened the door and stood up. Thankfully, the garage was still deserted. I reached back inside the car for my purse and tried to straighten my clothing as much as possible. I slipped my hand up and down the soft fabric. I didn’t feel anything and for that I was grateful.
If there had been a wet spot earlier, it had thankfully dried by now. With a sigh of relief, I pulled my shoulders back and lifted my chin. I just had to make it to the elevator and down the hallway to my apartment. It wasn’t that far. I could make it even though my legs felt like jelly and my veins were still pumping with sensation. With a soft hum of anxiety, I walked away from my car. The garage was empty. It was late and since it was in the middle of the week, everyone had to get up early for work the next day.
I didn’t. At least not until next Monday.
Would Jaxon even help me after I’d walked away? Would he leave me to my own devices and force me to figure out my shit all on my own? I’d denied him a second time. In the eyes of many men, that would be unforgivable. They’d accuse me of being a tease, of not knowing what I wanted. Did he think of me that way?
I made it to the elevator. I pushed the button to call it and closed my eyes until I heard it slide open.
I wasn’t eighteen anymore. I was twenty-five. I had money in my bank account. I had my own place. I could survive all on my own without a man by my side. I didn’t need him.
Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him then?
I gritted my teeth and walked into the elevator. I slammed my finger on the button that led to my floor and sulkily leanedagainst the wall. It didn’t matter anymore. The likelihood that I would see him again was slim and even if the world crashed down around me, he probably would never allow me to walk through his front door again.
I’d done this. This was my fault. I’d ruined everything.
The elevator slid open and I stumbled out. Remembering myself, I strutted down the hall as if I owned it, faking confidence with every step until I shoved my key in my door so that I could escape inside into the safety of my apartment. I practically flew inside and gently closed the door behind me before I crumbled into a heap on the floor. My back pressed against the door and my arms surrounded my knees. I hid my face even though no one could see me.
It wasn’t long before I started to cry. One tear slid down my cheek after the next as my own self-made misery tore me open from within. I cried not because I was in physical pain. I cried because I had walked away.
I cried hard because I would allow myself to feel this one time. Once the sun rose, I wouldn’t let myself feel anything for him ever again.
CHAPTER 8
Keri
One year later
I regretted everything. It felt like I had walked away from him forever and that tore at my insides with every waking moment since I’d peeled out of his driveway and hadn’t looked back.
Even though I had told myself that I wouldn’t think about Jaxon Blackwood again, I broke that promise. He slipped into my thoughts at least once a day and into my dreams just as often. I stopped dating entirely because no one could compete with him. Ashleigh even set up a blind date for me, but I’d cancelled that at the first opportunity I could.
There was no one other than him.
Daddy.
Did he think about me? Was I just some chick that he’d spanked and had suck his cock? Did that mean anything to him? Did I mean anything to him?
Men asked me out. I said no. Soon, they stopped even approaching me at all. Perhaps I’d finally perfected my resting bitch face and that scared them off. None of them even remotely came close to the type of man Jaxon was. Not a single one of them could stand toe to toe with me and come out the victor. He pushed me and he wasn’t afraid to do it.
He’d conquered me in a way that no one else could.
I blinked hard, trying not to think about the way his touch had lingered on my skin. I tried not to think about the fact that I was actually sad when the redness from his palm had faded to pink and how empty I’d felt when there was nothing left behind at all. I almost wished he had spanked me hard enough to leave marks because those would have taken much longer to fade.
I sat back in my office chair, looking out at the bright green treetops of Central Park. I was here because of him. I knew that.
Not only had Miranda Parker been transferred out of my department, she had been relocated to Alaska. A set of risqué pictures had been leaked online the day after I visited him of her with one of the higher-ups and they’d both lost their positions here once Human Resources got word of their affair. I no longer answered to Colin Harrington either. I had a new boss now and I adored her. Her name was Evangeline Masters, and she was a powerhouse. I was proud to work for her because she didn’t let petty nonsense get under her skin and she never let any of the men working in government get a leg up on her. She worked harder and often much smarter than all of them combined.
