She smiled a little and lowered her gaze. “My dad’s gonna be a funny grandpa.”
I dropped my spoon into my bowl and stared at her. “Are you pregnant?” Had someone forced themselves on her in Kabul?
“What? No!” She must’ve seen the gravity in my expression. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I’m just looking forward to being a mom. This assignment was supposed to be my last one for a while.”
Jesus. Okay, that was…a lot different. Christ.
“The past six months, I haven’t really dared to keep dreaming,” she admitted. “It was like I lost sight of my future the moment we were attacked.”
That made sense. It’d been a long time since I’d thought about the future. I worked too much. I practically lived at the agency. I had an apartment across the street from Hillcroft, and most of my meals came from the cafeteria.
“I get it,” I said. “So, you’re gonna go home and find someone to knock you up and drag you down the aisle.”
Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. “That sounds romantic. It’s a mystery someone hasn’t snatched you up yet.”
Eh.
I’d heard happy stories from work, but they were in the great minority. Most operators my age were on their fourth divorce. I’d never bothered. The day I retired from field ops, I was going to adopt a dog or two. Maybe buy a house.
“But seriously, though,” she pressed carefully. “You seem like a good man. You’re certainly handsome. Have you never been close to dragging someone down the aisle?”
Check that out, I was handsome.
I scratched my head with the end of my spoon. “My last serious relationship ended about six years ago because I couldn’t put her before my work. Same story every time. No, I haven’t gotten close.”
For some reason, that made her look even more curious. “Have you been at Hillcroft for long?”
Way too long, and I was never leaving. She’d asked about my family, the people I was related to, and the men and women I was actually close to…my second family…they were all at Hillcroft.
“Around twenty-five years.” Depending on how one looked at it.
“Holy crap.”
“I was still in the Air Force when I was recruited,” I said.
“Did you enlist when you were a toddler?”
I chuckled. “Almost. Got my ship date right before I turned eighteen.” In many ways, I had loved the Air Force. In other ways, I’d felt…contained and held back. “Hillcroft needed pilots and promised me what I was looking for at that age. Excitement, money, way more control…” I shrugged. “Usually when you join Hillcroft, they want you to have a few years in the service, and you gotta be out when you start your training. But with pilots—they don’t exactly have their own flight school, so some of us are still active when we join. I didn’t leave until I’d completed a deployment. I wanted to make sure I was making the right choice.”
I remembered those days with amazement at how I hadn’t developed an ulcer. All my spare time off base had been spent at Hillcroft, and they’d pulled strings to get me timeoff as well. Hillcroft wasn’t one of those shady agencies. We took government contracts and cooperated with all our military branches. But goddamn, had it been a stressful time in my life.
“Any regrets?” Kiera wondered.
I shook my head. “Not a one.”
She smiled. “Good. What did you fly in the Air Force?”
“Hueys.” I reckoned she knew more than most, considering her old man. Her low whistle and smirk boded well. “What did your dad fly?”
“T-38s.”
Well, that explained her middle name.
Her smile softened. “I used to love watching him fly. I’d kind of dreaded the day he retired his wings, because I was so sure he was gonna fall into a depression, but…” She shrugged. “He said it was time for something new, and that he was the luckiest bastard on earth for having been blessed with three big loves. Me, my mom, and his white rocket.”
I grinned. That was fucking beautiful. I could only hope I felt the same way the day I gave up flying. Granted, I could fly as a hobby, but it’d be like a fighter pilot wasting time on a crop duster.
I finished the last of my bread and felt bizarrely content. At peace. But there was a dose of melancholy as well. Peering out over the valley and the mountains beyond, I wondered if I was ever coming back here. These days, most of my assignments took me to South America and Africa, and they weren’t as frequent anymore.
