My parents send a card each year with cash; and while Idoappreciate it, something a bit more personal would be nice. Though I can’t exactly blame them either—I haven’t spoken to them or my brothers more than a handful of times since I migrated. Not that they haven’t tried, but the conversation invariably turns back to why I left so abruptly and whathappened with my previous pack, and despite the injury being a few years old now, I’m not ready to discuss it with them. I love them all, but there is no point in cutting open old wounds to watch them bleed. The past is past.
Spencer finally settles enough to take a seat at the bar part of the island, his big body perched precariously on the tall stool, and his feet flat on the floor despite the height. My toes don’t even touch the damned ground when I sit there, and it draws into sharp contrast how different we are, not just physically, which is painfully obvious on occasion, but the way he carries himself. His hunched shoulders and rigid posture. He always attempts to be smaller than he really is, whereas I go out of my way to be blatantly overwhelming due to my smaller size. Of course, he’s also the oldest sibling in a house full of betas and I’m the youngest amongst a brood of alphas with only our omega mother being smaller than me. Not that she ever let her size dictate her status. She rules the house and everyone in it with a tiny iron fist.
I wonder if Sarah would be like that, a tiny tyrant? As sweet and charming as a fucking feral cat most likely. At least she doesn’t put up a false claim of being soft-spoken and demure. The perfect pretty omega to lure you in until the bond happens, and then you find yourself out in the cold as the pack reject. No, I suspect that what you see is what you get with her. Which is refreshing with her outgoing attitude, and honestly, I’m still worrying about how quiet and withdrawn she seemed earlier when the front door opens again, but it’s not her voice that calls through the house. “Hey! Sorry. I’m taking Sarah home. She’s feeling a bit better, not as spikey. But I think she needs some rest, and she says ice cream will help. I’m pretty sure that part’s just a con to get sugar, but it’s not like I’m gonna tell her no, anyway.”
Spencer looks sad, but turns towards the entryway before Greg makes his appearance, and Paul’s lips lift in a small smile before he responds. “Sounds good. If she’s still feeling bad tomorrow, let us know. I’m doing a morning shift, so I should be here in the afternoon. I can make her up some chicken soup if it would help.” I don’t know what use chicken soup might be with heat pains, but he’s just trying to be supportive. His mom is a beta, so he’s probably doing whatever he can think of to help someone who feels sick. It’s a depressing realization that I’m the only one in our pack who has any experience with omegas, and all of that since I moved out of my parents’ house has been bad.
Greg returns my packmate’s smile. He works with omegas daily, so he understands the futility of the gesture, but his voice holds no derision. “Thanks, my dude. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.” His attention turns to Spencer. “She asked if you’re working tomorrow. She said she doesn’t want to keep bothering you or risk getting in trouble, but she wondered if you wanted to come in sometime when you weren’t on the clock so you two could talk about technique and do squats or something…Man, I don’t know. Working out isn’t my thing.”
Spencer’s shoulders relax immediately, his usual grin replacing the previous look of worry. “No, I’m…I think I’m off the clock. Shit…er. I mean, I forgot to check the schedule today. Can she ask Kelly? I think she usually does the scheduling.” He looks embarrassed. “I can work if they need me to, but I just mean…wait, you don’t work out?” He gives Greg a suspicious once-over, but the big beta just laughs.
“Not if I can help it, no. I do it more now since it’s important to her, but I’m more of a couch, coffee, and guitar kind of guy. I’d rather get lost in music for a few hours a day than sweat my ass off. Nothing against anybody who’s into that; it’s just not my jam.” Spencer’s laugh is loud and boisterous, finally sounding like his normal self.
“Nah, it’s all good. I got started lifting ’cause of sports, mostly football. I can’t dribble a basketball to save my life, but football is where I rock. Also, ’cause I like to eat.” He casts a gaze at Paul, who is back to smiling himself. “His mom knows what I mean. When I started hanging out with Josh in middle school, she would always invite me over. Then she said I was a food vacuum and she never had to worry about leftovers with four alphas in the house.”
That, at least, explains part of the cookbook thing then. I guess any beta would look at having a house full of alphas as needing to make sure one of them had skills in the kitchen. Though Mom didn’t make us learn to cook. It was never one of her passions, but she trained our fathers well. Though woe be to anyone who complained about their food. None of us kids ever used the term “But I don’t like this” more than once. Our dads were more than happy to send us to bed without supper for upsetting her, and Spencer is right that alphas need a lot of calories to grow. Well, my brothers did anyway. We technically had nine alphas in the house between me, my siblings, and Dads. Not that Mom ever complained about it; it was just how things were.
Paul has an alpha dad and a beta mom and his brother. Spence has beta parents and siblings. So it looks like I’m the only one who grew up in a pack. Maybe that’s why these two are so accepting of my not wanting to share some of my past with them—they don’t consider it strange not to know everything about each other. Do they think of me more as a third roommate instead of a pack member? That could also be it, though I wouldn’t think they would have put me on the mortgage paperwork with them if that were the case. No…they just must not be used to how packs work. Fuck, I hope that’s all it is.
Chapter 61
Sarah is almost asleep when I get to the van and start heading back to Sam’s. Those heat spikes seem to take an awful lot out of my poor girl, and I’m worried that she won’t tell me if they get worse. The irony is that she doesn’t want me to worry about her, when that’s all she does about everybody else. It’s worse with the three alphas. The more I get to know them, the more I like them for her.
She’s obviously sold on the big one, but is it enough to abandon her piece of shit scent match? Not unless the other two get with the program as well. Paul seems mostly detached but Al needs to pull his head from his rear and get with the program. Because I’m sure she wants Spence, and I’m also pretty sure she’d take all three if given the opportunity. I’m all for anything that gets her away from John since he’s not worth her time or effort. Seriously, between him and her parents, she needs to getsome good non-toxic relationships. Being around Teddy, who seems to have a good pack, might help her realize what she needs. I don’t know for sure, but I can hope, anyway.
’Course, the idea of moving to small-town Mississippi is about as appealing as stabbing myself in the foot with a butter knife, but if it gets her into a good situation, I’ll bear it. It’s not like she knows how much I loathe towns like this one, but at least we’re relatively close to a larger metropolitan area. Teddy was right, though. There are no meal delivery options around here. The few things they have you gotta pick up on your own, and while I can live on ramen if need be, she’ll go bugshit with only carbs. Maybe I can have Sam or Steve teach me how to cook if we move. Though Paul seems to have a handle on it too. His offer of chicken soup was sweet, if a bit awkward.
My little omega’s head flops sideways, thumping loudly on the glass as we turn down the dirt road leading to Sam’s place. She groans, twisting her head and shoulders around as she tries to burrow into the seat. These things aren’t that plush. We did not go for the deluxe model, and I honestly don’t know how she can sleep at all in a moving vehicle. I feel like my teeth are about to rattle out of my head as we bump down this deer path masquerading as a driveway. Technically, it’s a county road that leads to their driveway, but in the days we’ve been here, I’ve never seen another vehicle on it.
Kelly said she had to have fresh gravel brought in for their parking lot, something about stains. So at least that’s smoother as we pull up in front of the house. Sarah lets out a little wheezing snore as I go around and open her car door, pulling her into my arms and against my chest. I’m actually not one hundred percent sure how the hell I’m going to open the front door and not get plowed over by Jake while trying to get her inside, but I’m chalking it up to more adventures in being mated to an omega.
We’re not legally mated yet; there’s no paperwork or bonding bites. She’s offered, but I’m kind of waiting until she finds her alphas or becomes insistent about it. I want her, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. But part of that is making sure she’s happy, and if that means she comes across a pack that wants her but not me, I want to be able to give her that opportunity. She says that’s not going to happen, but I’ll do everything I can to give her as much chance as possible to have the life she wants—even if I’m not around to see it. It probably won’t come to that, but I’m trying to be prepared.
The door swings open before I make it up the few stairs or have a chance to knock. Sam is standing there with his arms crossed, a surly look on his face as Jake hops around him excitedly, his tail flailing in a wide arc. The annoyance vanishes from the big alpha’s face as he takes us in, realizing who it is, and he keeps his voice quiet when he sees Sarah asleep in my arms. “Hey, we weren’t sure if you were gonna make it back tonight. Teddy tried texting, but Kelly said you’d gone home with Spence’s pack, and he didn’t want to bother you. Then he wagged his eyebrows suggestively, so I’m gonna let y’all deal withthat.” He chuckles quietly, his eyes growing soft when he mentions his omega and beta. They are so damned in love it would make me hurl if I didn’t get it completely. I feel the same way about the woman in my arms.
“He and Kelly went in and spent some time playing with Shaggbutt and took him some carrots and hay, so if the little fluffball says he’s starving, it’s a lie.” He shakes his head again, ushering me inside and patting his leg. It’s quiet enough not to wake the girl sleeping in my arms, but apparently its intended listener got the message as Jake comes charging back across the lot, spraying gravel in his wake and kicking his back legs against the rug before stepping inside so Sam can lock the front door.
“I’m wiped out. We had a mandatory meeting today at the station, and the bureaucracy is kicking my ass. Everybody else is downstairs if you want to say hi, or just get some rest yourselves. Looks like you could use it.” His eyes flick to mine before traveling down to the omega curled in my arms. “Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but is she ok? Teddy’s a bit worried with the heat spikes she’s been having. He says they aren’t exactly normal, but her cycle’s kinda fucked at the best of times. I’m not trying to pry into private matters, but if there’s anything y’all need, lemme know. I’m kinda limited in what I know about omegas to just Teddy, so if we need to pick anything up for her, we can.” With that, he pats me on the shoulder and heads up the stairs. Jake takes a few minutes looking between me and the way Sam went before shaking himself and huffing, then heads to the open door that leads to the basement.
Making my way down the hallway to our shared room, I open the door and hear several muffled thumps. Shaggy, apparently, is annoyed by our absence, despite the attention and treats he got while we were gone. The little fluff is staring at me through the slats of his run, a scowl on his little spotted face. I honestly never would have thought that a rabbit could scowl, but there it is—irritation at least. I peel the covers back as best as I can while balancing Sarah and lay her down, sliding off her shoes and pulling the covers up. It’s not the most comfortable thing to sleep in your clothes, but it’s more likely I’d wake her up trying to wrestle her limp body out of them.
Shaggy thumps again, but quieter this time, as if he knows his person is trying to rest, but still wants to make sure I understand his annoyance. My breath heaves out in a sigh. Sam’s not the only one worried about Sarah, but I told myself I’d follow her lead on this, and if she doesn’t want to go to the heat suite, to try to ride everything out there, I’m not going to push. It’s her body,and her decision how she wants to handle this, even if I worry that she’s being irresponsible. I don’t feel comfortable pushing.
I let myself sink to the floor beside Shaggy’s gate, opening it so he can hop out for a while. My mind is swirling with too much stress right now to get any sleep, and I’d probably just wake her up by tossing and turning on the bed if I tried right now.
A few minutes of hopping around the room, and assuring himself that he’s the one in charge in this relationship is all it takes for Shaggy to run out of energy, and soon he’s head-butting my thigh, demanding I pick him up and give him cuddles. I stretch my body out, making it easier for him to climb up on my chest and turn into a little bunny loaf from his place atop Greg mountain, and he bruxes happily for a few minutes until he too soon falls asleep. I’m not sure if that means I’m stuck sleeping on the floor tonight under a rabbit, or just until I get tired myself. Though I must drift off at some point, because I don’t wake up until Sarah’s foot connects with my shoulder the next morning when she crawls out of bed and trips over me.
At least Shaggbutt is safe. He probably got tired of me, because when the profanity stops and the destruction clears, he’s staring at us from his travel nest in the run, annoyed that our fumbling has woken him up.
Seriously, how dare we?
Chapter 62
My body hates me. That’s all I can figure out right now. Of course it decided to wait until I was away from my nest to start going batshit crazy, whywouldn’tthat happen? And only around the alphas that I’m not supposed to want.
Ihavea scent match; I have two, in fact. One back home, and the one standing beside me as I wait in line at the checkout of this weird little grocery store. It’s not a bad place, bigger than the mom-and-pop convenience stores close to the campgrounds we used to go to growing up. But not full-sized either; it’s strange. I wonder if they could make special orders, since theyarelocal, like if I really wanted them to carry the steamed buns I like, could they do it?
I can order most stuff online, no matter where I live, but it’s probably gonna be really hard to find a good Asian market in the area, even more so to find some place that carries my favoritetaro buns. Oh, and those almond cookies I get from the market near the mall we sometimes go to during omega “field trips.” Not that I’ve been on one lately, without Teddy there and with Adam and Lily being holed up, it’s just not as fun to go.
