“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve weaseled your way onto Little Birdie twice now.”
“Not by choice, believe me.”
“Is any of it true?” she asks. “Are you really dating Rue Sullivan?”
I lift my head to find her watching me with suspicious but genuinely curious eyes. “Why?”
She huffs out a humorless laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. You’d think you’d want to announce something that huge, but it seems like it’s a secret, what with the way you’ve been sneaking around Fallbrook with her.”
“Why would it be a huge deal for me to date Rue Sullivan?”
Olivia gives me a look that tells me to drop the act. “She was your best friend. Come on.”
I scratch the back of my neck. “You were in, like, fourth grade back then. I didn’t think you remembered.”
“Please don’t insult my intelligence.”
“Sorry.”
My sister lets out a long sigh. With her arms still crossed, her fingers tap against her bicep in thought. “What’s really going on? Tell me. Historically, you don’t date people for long, but I can’t imagine you tossing Rue aside in a week like you do the others.”
For once she doesn’t sound antagonistic. Even though it’s rare, this is the tone Olivia only uses when she’s being genuine. I’ve only ever heard her use it with our parents, her best friend Corinne, and occasionally me.
I consider lying to her, but I can’t deny that the weight of my secret with Rue is already starting to weigh on me. Not only do I hate lying, but I’m also starting to get worried Rue won’t actually forgive me for what I did all those years ago. This fake relationship with her seems like my only shot, my one chance to fix things before it’s too late forever.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I finally say.
“I won’t.”
“Olivia. I mean it. This is a big deal, and I’ll know it was you if it gets out because no one else knows.”
She nods. “Fine. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
That’s good enough for me. Unlike most people, Olivia doesn’t hand out promises if she’s not going to keep them.
I unload everything onto her. The argument between Rue and Meredith. The way I stepped in and pretended Rue and I are together. Rue’s reasons for hating me in the first place. How badly I want to fix things, even though I have no idea how.
When I’m done, Olivia chews her lip in thought. “You really do have a golden opportunity to win her friendship back, Ezra. I just hope you don’t mess it up like you do everything else.”
“What do I need to do? Help me. Please.”
She laughs. “You sound desperate.”
“I am.”
She nods like she just discovered the key to everything. “Wow. You really care about her. I’ve never heard you sound like this about any of your other girlfriends.”
I don’t bother to correct her, to remind her Rue isn’t really my girlfriend, no matter how dizzying that fantasy makes me. “That’s because this is Rue,” I say. “I only have until we stage our breakup, and who knows when that will be? Then she’ll never talk to me again.”
My sister rolls her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic. You’d think you’re the one in theater by how you sound. All you need to do is be honest with her. Duh.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Fine. Be stupid, then. But don’t come crying to me when you lose her a second time.” She stands from her seat and marches in the direction of her room.
Fear threatens to swallow me whole at her words. “Wait! Olivia, please. Help me. I don’t even know how to begin being honest with her. So much time has passed.”
She spins to face me. “Why don’t you start by taking her out, alone? And while you’re laughing and having fun together, invite her over to dinner. Remind her how much fun she used to have over here. Start talking about all your memories. Then, when her heart is nice and soft, confess everything to her. Tell her how dumb you were for not standing up for her back then. Make sure you stress that you were just stunned and couldn’t think straight, not that you didn’t care. And then tell her you love her.”
