My entire brain goes fuzzy, and for one reckless second, I’m tempted to pull her back in and kiss her for real.
But no, she wouldn’t want that. She said I could only kiss her when absolutely necessary. And as much as I wish right now was one of those times, it isn’t.
“What’s wrong?” Rue asks. Probably because I’m frozen like an idiot.
“Who, me? Oh, I’m just processing.”
She giggles, placing a hand over her mouth.
I gape at her playfully. “You're laughing at me?"
Rue grins. “Yeah, well, you're kinda funny. Sometimes. When you're not being rude."
And then she makes toward her locker. I don’t even realize I’m still watching her walk away until Tucker clears his throat dramatically. “I’m still here, you know.”
“Oh, I know. Only you could ruin a perfect moment.”
He laughs, and we both make our way to homeroom. I don’t bump into Rue again on my way to any of my classes, but at lunch time, I find her at the table.
I exhale a sigh of relief.She’s here. Unlike yesterday.
I still don’t know what that was about. Unless she really was trying to avoid me. Either way, apologizing to her felt like removing weighted clothes I’ve been wearing for years. I’ve felt so light and free since she forgave me.
When I sit next to her, everyone at the table greets me. Tucker is already sitting with an arm around Mabel, and Meredith is sharing her brownie with Carlton. Dot and Zayne are sitting on Rue’s other side, but I don’t miss the grin they both send my way.
This might be my favorite part of the day. It’s the time I get to really put on a performance as Rue’s boyfriend, since we don’t have any classes together and hardly anyone sees us pass in the halls. No one else is in the sound booth with us during rehearsals.
But here at lunch, everyone is watching. So, I thread my fingers through hers, resting our joined hands atop the table.
Rue smiles a little too tightly at me, making me frown.Is this too far? There’s no way…
“What’s wrong?” I whisper in her ear.
Her gaze darts around, never fully landing on anything or anyone. “Nothing. I, uh, just have a lot on my mind.”
I swallow. She must be talking about yesterday, and me asking if we could be friends again. “Rue…don’t worry. I’m not expecting things to actually go back to how they were between us. I know I still have to earn your trust back as your friend first.”
“Right.” Her stare breaks away from the brownie Carlton and Meredith are sharing. “Yeah. That’s what was worrying me. So, thanks.”
I smile at her reassuringly. At least, I hope I do, because my gut tightens with worry.What if she never lets me in again, and after we break up, I never get to talk to her again?
Rue nudges my arm gently with her elbow. “Don’t go getting all mopey now. What you said is going to take time to swallow. So just keep that in mind, in case I seem weird or quiet or… I don’t know. Defensive.”
I smile a little. “You’re always weird and quiet and defensive.”
She bumps me harder this time, and I laugh, the tension easing just a bit.
“But for real,” I whisper to her. “I meant all of it. And it sucks that I have to be the guy your mom worries about you spending time with. I wish I could do something to change that.”
She doesn’t answer right away, but when she does, it’s soft. “Sorry. Too late.”
“No, I’m sorry. I will never hurt you again, I promise.”
Meredith claps her hands together. “Alright, you two. Break it up. Secrets don’t make friends.”
Rue clears her throat. “I completely agree.”
I can’t tell if I’m imagining it or not, but I think she glares at Carlton. Or, maybe Mabel.
