When he parks in a garage near Sip of Joy, I frown. “What are we doing here? I thought you were taking me home.”
“I am taking you home. After we get you a sip of joy.”
I roll my eyes at the bad pun but crack a smile regardless. The café is bathed in late-afternoon light, and there are only a few customers taking up tables. The quiet inside is such a relief that I finally relax a little.
We sit at one of the small corner booths. Ezra orders us both iced lattes without asking, and when mine is in my hand, I stare at the condensation rolling in beads down the plastic cup.
“Come on,” he says softly. “Talk to me, Sullivan.”
The dam inside me cracks a little.
“I feel horrible,” I whisper.
“About what?”
“Everything. My choices, what happened with Meredith and Mabel, the stupid musical. Everything.”
He leans forward. “Hey. Rue, look at me.”
When I do, my eyes sting.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Oh, Ezra.If only you knew.
“Yes, I did.” I grip my cup tighter. “And it’s so bad I can’t even tell you.”
His warm brown eyes soften. “No, that’s not true. Whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it alone.”
I wish he were right, but I know the truth will make him walk away. Still, it’s probably exactly what I deserve. I swallow hard. “You really want me to tell you?”
“If it will make you feel better, yes.”
My heart lodges in my throat.This is it. I could just tell him. I could hand him my worst secret and trust him with it.
“I—”
A group of students bursts through the café door, their laughter echoing through the space. Ezra glances over instinctively, and the moment evaporates like mist.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I say.
Concern flickers across his face. “Can’t tell me right now, or at all?”
“I-I just don’t know if you’d forgive me. And I can’t lose you again. Not when I just got you back.”And I just got Meredith back. If it gets out, I’ll lose her for good.
He leans closer, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Rue. Nothing you could say would make me stop caring about you.”
I want to believe him, and I want to be honest with him after he was honest with me, telling me how sorry he is and wanting me back as his friend. But Little Birdie has already proven how saying too much can only make things worse.
“I think I just need time to figure everything out,” I say.
He nods, but I can see the disappointment in the slump of his shoulders. When he finally drives me home, neither of us speaks. But I know the silence is temporary, and that’s what scares me most.
Secrets always come out. And when mine does, I won’t just lose Ezra. I might lose Meredith too.
Chapter 19
Ezra
