—Psalms 139:14
But still, it’s hard to believe sometimes.
I dig through the haphazardly folded clothes in my dresser until I find the pair of jeans my mom is talking about.
Do these really make me look taller?
I don’t know why I even question it. If my mother is saying they do, then I know they do. She wouldn’t lie to me to preserve my feelings.Clearly.
By some miracle, my only purple turtleneck is clean today. Mom does all the laundry in this house because she wants things washed and dried a certain way, but she also tends to avoid actually washing the laundry at all costs, so I’m often left scraping outfits together on the weekends with the few garments still hanging in my closet.
When I’m clad inthe outfit, I snap a pic of myself and send it to Mabel.
Mabel
cute! Is that for Dot’s party? I couldn’t find Meredith’s sweater, so I’m wearing this.
A photo comes through of her in a brown sweater-dress and black tights.
Mabel
I’m so glad there’s been hardly any snow this year so I can wear this
With a smile, I send a heart back to her.
I steady myself in front of the mirror. “You got this, Rue. You’re Rue Chanel Sullivan, remember?”
But talking to myself kinda defeats the point because only the wallflower my mom accused me of being would do such a thing.
When I come back downstairs, Mom is waiting with a tapping foot and crossed arms. “Better. Much better. Now, letme get a few pictures of you before you leave. Something cute for you to post.”
I know better than to argue with her.
Mom leads the way outside, and we walk down the street to the grassy area on the way to the main road where she insists on taking all my pictures. She positions me on the sidewalk so the backdrop is at just the right angle. The Charles River stretches out behind me, shimmering in the light. Across the water, Boston rises in layered silhouettes of old brick buildings and tall, shiny glass towers. Longfellow Bridge cuts across the view like it belongs in the background of every tourist photo ever.
Adjusting the settings on my phone next, she holds it up to her face. “Just keep moving around. These are perfect.”
I place my hand on my hip and smile. Just like being onstage, pretending to be someone else, it’s always easier for me to act a bit more outgoing when I’m with my mom.
Can you imagine what Mabel and Meredith would think if they saw you right now?The thought makes me self-conscious, considering Mabel and Meredith are actual models. But I can’t think about that now. I continue posing for Mom, making sure my smile is in place at all times. Part of me doesn’t care if we get anything good, because what’s the point? The only guy I’d want to notice is already taken.
“These are just perfect. We got your shot, honey.” Mom hands me the phone. “And don’t you dare forget to edit those before posting them like last time.” She tucks the longer side of her straight, asymmetrical hair behind her ear. It’s a new look for her, and she’s been obsessed with the way her new deep red hair color complements her dark skin.
But she’s not the only one with a new look.
Our time at the salon over break was her idea of mother-daughter bonding, and though the layers the stylist created in my curly hair are subtle, I was so nervous about what everyonewould think when school started. It’s not often I change my hair—or anything about my appearance, really. So far, not a single person has commented on the change, and I don’t know why I’m even surprised.
Mom claps her hands together. “All right. Now get outta here. I refuse to be the parent whose kid doesn’t make it to the party.”
I refrain from telling her most parents would kill for their kid to miss the party and simply nod.
The walk to Dot’s house doesn’t take long because she lives on the same street as me, and her place is already glowing when I get there. Twinkle lights spill across the porch like someone tangled the stars. Bass rumbles through the windows, and the air smells like lingering perfume from whoever was standing here before me.
I lift my hand to knock. Take a deep breath.
You can do this, Rue. And for once, try not to be so shy.
Chapter 3
