Chapter 24
Rue
By Friday, my stomach has turned into a full-time circus act.
It’s bad enough that this is the night of Ezra’s big game with the scout. Then there’s tomorrow being opening night of the musical. Even though my feelings toward it are much more positive than before, and it’s in a much better place, I’m still nervous.
There’s also my ongoing guilt over everything I posted as Little Birdie, which my friends now know all about.
My friends.
I don’t even know if I can call them that anymore. I don’t know if they’ll ever forgive me, despite the heartfelt apology idea Ezra and I came up with. It’s just another thorn on my stem, but worst of all is the tiny fact that I’ve hopelessly fallen for my fake boyfriend, for real. The way he stood up for me in the hallway pretty much pushed me from reluctantly falling to cannonballing at full speed.
No one has ever stood up for me like that.My heart throbs painfully, not from hurt this time, but something like awe. Gratitude. Something deep and warm and terrifying.
Something like love.
Basically, my insides are a mess. And all day, my friends don’t speak to me in class, make eye contact with me in the halls, or eat with me at lunch. Ezra is the only one waiting at my table, and everyone else is simply absent. I can’t help but wonder where they all went. The image of them eating together in a classroom or skipping lunch altogether just to avoid me makes my stomach swim with anxiety. Thankfully, Ezra doesn’t even bring it up, but he does give me his brownie and tell me how nervous he is for today.
“You’re going to be great, Ez.”
He laughs. “You say that with such confidence.”
“That’s because I’ve seen you play.” My lips turn up in a half smile. “I still don’t know much about basketball, but I can tell you’re so good, it’s unfair to everyone else.”
A subtle redness appears on his cheeks, but he doesn’t break eye contact. “I may be good at basketball. But you’re a really good friend, no matter what anyone says.”
“Oh, is that what we are?” My voice is teasing.
Ezra smirks. “Are you ready for this conversation?”
I blush furiously, our kiss at the party playing in my mind.
His smirk transforms into a full-fledged grin. “That’s what I thought. For now, I just wanna say that I hope after this is all over, we can be a lot more than friends, Rue.”
A lot more than friends?Words stick in my throat. My heart pounds rapidly, and for a crazy moment, I consider hinting at the intensity of my feelings that won’t stop screaming at me. But all I get out is, “Of course we can. Who else is going to eat lunch with me if I say no?”
“Oh, so you’re just using me then? Cool, now I know.” Grinning, he bumps my shoulder with his own. It makes my butterflies double, and I giggle. “If I lose this game today, I might not be welcome at my team’s table again, so perfect.”
“Well, then you better win. Because historically speaking, you don’t stay my friend very long.”
“Ouch, Sullivan. You know how to get me right where it hurts. But don’t worry, I can handle it.” But he’s smiling as he says it, and my heart does a dance routine.
“Rue?” A voice interrupts us, and I turn to see Zayne’s brother, Lenny, standing at the edge of our table.
“Oh, hey.” I lift my hand in a friendly wave.
Lenny beams. “I just want to say that I’m proud to have nominated you as Little Birdie. You did an exceptional job, as I hoped.”
I frown and shake my head. “Hold on.” It takes me way too long to process his words. Probably because of the way he just blurts it out with no preamble, like it’s a fun fact instead of a huge confession. And then I remember Dot telling me something about Lenny being on the spectrum, so I take a deep breath to hide some of my frustration before answering him. “Are you saying you’re the one who put my name into the app? You nominated me?”
He nods. “Yes. I nominated you.”
“And why?”
Lenny awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other. The direction of gaze alternates from the wall behind me to hovering near my face but not quite on it. “The app said that students should nominate whoever they felt would make the best Little Birdie, and I felt that would be you. I notice the way you pay attention to what others are saying, most of the time. I wanted to nominate myself but didn’t feel doing so was a decision of integrity.”
Ezra tries not to smile and fails. “I agree with him.”
