“Rage!”
Mary gasped. “Rage! Explain!”
“I for one, am weary of people treating us like helpless ninnyhammers. We deserve our share of knowledge and power. Mr Bingleysingled Jane outfor his attention, so Jane needs to know all we do before she decides how to act. I will draw this graph and explainexactlywhat happened with Mr Bingley and his sisters, along with my theory. Jane keeps her temper firmly under control, so I doubt you have ever seen it, but I can assure you it is there, and I can rouse it. I have done so accidentally several times, and I can do so deliberately if necessary. She will be murderous, much like Ivar the Boneless, if he abandons her without a word; and she will receive him with her eyes wide open if he returns.”
Mary frowned in distaste but did not oppose the plan. It sounded unchristian, but probably effective, and she was not a parson’s wife yet.
“We will mitigate the gossip by telling the neighbourhood exactly what happened, including today’s incident; and the endlessly repeated gossip that fills the neighbourhood and even leaks into Town will be of an entirely different nature.
“If it comes to it, and Jane feels vindictive enough, Aunt Gardiner can have it mentioned in the circles they inhabit, or even the tattle section of the paper, which may well cause reciprocal discomfort.”
Mary stared at the graph pensively. “You are right, Lizzy. You got the lion’s share of the deviousness.”
“It would appear so,” Elizabeth said resignedly. “I am not proud of the idea, but I will implement it without qualms. It follows the same principle as Kep’s instruction for the coachman.”
Kep laughed. “I believe you misunderstand. Your sister was offering praise, not censure.”
They laughed, and Newton said, “I am glad I did not share any solicitous gossip with you.”
“Mr Newton, Kep, it has been a pleasure, but Mary has been engaged less than two hours, and if we want to keep this incident private until the right moment, we need to return to Longbourn without being seen, and proceed with our original mission.”
Newton asked, “Do you know and trust Mrs Morris at Netherfield?”
“We do.”
“Kep and I will leave you to Mrs Morris to hide away. Kep can take the gig to Longbourn with a trusted maid to obtain clothing. You can write a note for your elder sister, and Kep will bring her back with clean clothes. I have Netherfield household funds, so I can give the maid a little extra for her service and silence. Mrs Morris can arrange some discreet baths, and have your dresses laundered.”
“Excellent thinking,” Elizabeth replied. “Jane will also know how to keep any gossip from spreading through Longbourn, and this whole incident will be under our direction.”
“We thank you for your kind assistance, Mr Newton, and Kep,” Mary said. “I hope this will not harm you.”
“Of course not. Nobody knows when we left or when we are expected. Mrs Morris will keep things quiet, and all will be well—or as well as it can be, given the circumstances.”
Mary and Elizabeth were warm and dry, though not ready to give up their greatcoats and blankets. Kep ran back to drop the tailgate of the wagon, then lifted each sister in turn so they could sit on the back with their legs hanging over for the short ride back to Netherfield.
As expected, Mrs Morris was happy to see them. They explained as much of the incident as they dared. True to MrNewton’s conjecture, all was arranged, and they returned to Longbourn a few hours later.
As planned, Elizabeth explained everything to Jane, including her devious plan to replace heartbreak with rage, though she took the trouble to draw a proper graph, since she did not have any mud in the parlour. Jane took it about as well as could be expected.
Kep drove all three sisters in a gig that belonged to the estate. They thanked him kindly, wished him well, and admonished him not to break anything while he gave lessons in driving coaches—or at the very least, none ofhisbones.
The sisters were pensive as they returned. They were ecstatic to see Mary’s face break into the biggest smile they had seen in some time, as Mr Collins greeted her with all the effusions of happiness any woman could ask of a suitor. Much of the parson’s verbosity and awkward manners had drained away in the few hours since his engagement.Perhaps the man had only been nervous and had fallen back on his usual behaviour. Stranger things had happened.
Soon after their return, Jane received a letter. Fortunately, only the elder sisters were present, so Jane could read it in relative privacy. Her face passed from interest to suspicion, and settled into a ferocious frown. A vein at her temple started throbbing, and Jane’s hands started to curl into fists.
A few minutes later, she reread it, looked back and forth between the letter and Elizabeth’s ballistic graph, and growled,“Rage it is!”
She crumpled the letter in her fist, threw it in the fire, and stalked from the room.
Rage
“EEEEENOUGH!”
Even had Jane’s shout not been loud enough to set the hounds barking, the crash of both fists against the dining table hard enough to rattle the plates and spill her wine would have commanded attention. It even stopped Kitty and Lydia from bickering, and left the table in deathly silence.
Mrs Bennet had been blathering alternately about wedding plans and Mr Bingley for the three weeks since the Netherfield ball.
Mary and Mr Collins were fortunately due to escape the madness within the week, their wedding just before Yuletide. The banns were first read on 1 December, thevery firstSunday after the proposal. Since both were more inclined to begin married life than listen to endless lectures on the absolute necessity of a perfect wedding, they scheduled the ceremony for the 20th, so Mary’s beloved Aunt and Uncle Gardiner could attend. The three weeks had been filled with wedding preparations, but nowhere near enough to keep Mrs Bennet from fretting about Mr Bingley.
