Sorrow crossed Darcy’s face at the revelation, only to harden into a fierce scowl that half frightened her.
He noted her alarm. “Pray, pardon me. This scowl is not aimed atyou.”
Her temper fully engaged, Elizabeth spat, “For who, then? Perhaps your cousin does not meet your expectations, but she is—”
He boldly placed his finger against her lips to silence her. By all rights, she should have bitten a chunk out of it, but she allowed the overly forward manoeuvre… once.
“Let us not be at odds. May I explain? I assure you, I will satisfy your mathematical mind at the very least.”
Elizabeth acquiesced grudgingly.
“You told me yourself you study characters, and complex ones are more interesting.”
She nodded, unwilling to fault his logic; though, to be truthful, all she could remember of her mother’s disastrous visit to Netherfield was spending half an hour wishing she could crawl into a hole and pull a blanket over her head; but shedidvaguely remember saying something of the kind.
“And you told me you use mathematics to make sense of the world. Are you familiar with the termskew?”
“A bias towards something. A good example would be that English law and society are wildly skewed in favour of men.”
She thought that would send him running if he were as prideful as she supposed, but he smiled, and she had to admit his rarely bestowed smile was glorious. It nearly took her breath away, as much from the sensation as from the shock of experiencing it.
“A perfect example if I ever heard one,” he said. “Well, I must admit that I have a—”
She waited on pins and needles for an answer.
“—a skew in my facial expressions. It is an old problem I have been unable to resolve. When I am not paying attention, my expressionskewstowards aloofness, anger, haughtiness… that sort of thing. When I consciously try to control it, I become wooden, but at least less frightening.”
Elizabeth’s mouth hung open in wonder. She grudgingly admitted she rather likedthisversion of Mr Darcy, and she was ever so happy she would never have to worry about him pursuing a country nobody. She might actually be vulnerable.
“That explains a great deal,” she replied, feeling no need to add that she had detested the man a few days earlier.
“So, you see, my look of rage was directed atmyself. I have known Anne my entire life. Lady Catherine has pressed me to marry her since before my majority. You learned more about her in one afternoon in her phaeton than I did in all that time.”
Slightly guilty on behalf of both Mr Darcy and his cousin, she said, “That was not my intention. I had a conversation about boxes with—”
Stumbling, she paused and continued without revealing someone else’s story.
“Sometimes it is easier for outsiders to see what is happening because they have fresh eyes. Do not chastise yourself. I have recently been required to apply fresh eyes to a host of… ah… issues.”
She fell silent, embarrassed and staring at the ground, only to come back to life and blurt, “I hope you will not do anything rash.”
“I never do anything rash. Never in my life can I remember a single rash or imprudent act. My cousin Richard teases me mercilessly about it every chance he gets, but I mostly ignorehim. I will not do anything precipitous, but I will think long and hard about what I can do to help Anne. There must besomething.”
Elizabeth stopped and dragged the man to a halt.
“You are in earnest?”
“Of course. As I told you once, I have as many faults as any man, and perhaps more than most. I have no more discernment of my own character than most, but I do try my best to find my faults and correct them.”
Elizabeth thought a minute, and finally said, “I shall give it some thought and speak to Mary. Between us, we can probably come up with something useful you can do.”
“So, Imightturn out to be not entirely worthless?”
For the first time, the two laughed together and not at each other. Elizabeth was beginning to think it might be nice to have a friend with no expectations.
They reached the parsonage, so Mr Darcy entered to greet the Collinses then took his leave.
Perverse Chance
