“Whoooaaahhh, there!”
The ladies looked up from their labours as a wagon loaded with luggage and furniture approached at amuchmore reasonable pace. There was no danger of a repeat; the driver kept careful watch and manoeuvred around the puddles at a crawl.
A minute or two brought the wagon to a stop. The driver, a rugged man of around 40, and a boy of 16 looked down.
The driver carefully set the brake and tied off the reins. “Get the thick wool blankets for these ladies, Kep.”
The young man—Kep apparently—jumped down. Fortunately, he missed the puddle by a foot and did not splash them all over again, which would not have been well received.
He dug around for half a minute before yelling, “Aha!” He brought two blankets over and bowed. “My apologies, ladies. This is the best we have available quickly.”
Mary said, “Do not apologise, good sir. They are perfectly lovely.”
The driver secured the horses and climbed down carefully.
“Kep, I think you may find some towels in that green trunk on the top at the very back, or perhaps the brown one. Ladies, I suggest you wrap yourselves with the blankets, and we shall help you get clean presently.”
The ladies followed the suggestion. The blankets proved thick and warm, and cut the chill considerably.
Kep held up a handful of silk scarves that probably cost £20 in one hand, and a few clean, dry towels in the other.
He grinned wickedly. “You choose, ladies, though I suspect the towels will be more efficacious.”
Both sisters laughed, and Mary said, “Tempting… but… no.”
The young man replaced the silk scarves, jumped down, and brought two clean towels over. “Is there a stream nearby?”
Mary pointed behind. “About 30 yards that way, but pray be careful, young man. The banks are very slippery this time of year.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, grabbed a bucket from the back of the wagon, and set off at a dead run.
Mary and Lizzy exchanged grins.
“Do not fret, ladies. Youth, maleness, and common sense are generally mutually exclusive, but on average, at least half of us survive.”
Elizabeth laughed. “I am not as well read on set theory as I could be, but I know young men and can agree with your thesis—though if you knew my sisters, you might extend the principle, since they are even less sensible than your son.”
The driver laughed and slapped his thigh. “Perhaps you are right, young lady… perhaps you are right, though a sensible man would likely use probability theory and conclude that two mud-spattered urchins were unlikely to argue with his definition of a mathematical term.”
The ladies laughed along; the morning was improving.
The driver continued, “At any rate, we shall have you as right as we can shortly, then I will take you home or wherever you would like to go.”
“We thank you… er—”
The man gave a huge smile. “Ivar Newton, at your service—no relation.”
Both ladies laughed, and Mary asked, “Do you claim no relation to the famous mathematician or the infamous Viking?[iii] “
“Ah, so we have educated ladies. That is lovely. I am not related to either. I only know of Ivar the Boneless because another driver has a passion for that period. I am something of a mathematical dabbler myself, but I hardly ever engage in murderous rampages. I happen to be readingOpticks[iv] at the moment.”
“Oh, yes. I love that book. I should have a trying time if I were marooned on an island and had to choose between that andPrincipia[v].”
“Only you, Lizzy. Only you. May I ask an impertinent question, Mr Newton?”
“They are the only kind worth asking, but might I beg your names first?”
The sisters were chagrined to have entered a conversation without the first civilities, though they might assertthat no specificrules governed how to speak with a mathematically inclined driver with a Viking name while covered head to toe in mud. In such a scenario, which rule of thumb applied:anything not prohibited was allowedoranything not allowed was prohibited?
