Holding him is like holding flames. I can’t stop wanting him; I love the burn. He consumes himself, eats up all his own oxygen - he couldn’t exist in captivity, in a vacuum. He’s wild and uncontrollable.
I’ll give him fuel, give him structure. I’ll be the wood and the gasoline. I’ll be whatever he wants. I’ll burn for him, so he doesn’t have to keep burning himself.
He shudders and I drag him closer, close enough that he makes an annoyed little sound–that isn’t his safe word–and squirms just to make sure I really want him here, and then finally settles when my grip tightens.
“So what did you think?” he sasses after a few sniffles, his tone sharp and sarcastic, and a little gravelly from how deep he let me fuck his face. “A guy sucking dick isn’t so bad, huh? Just like a girl if you close your eyes.”
“Were my eyes closed, Tommy?” I ask, threatening, the way he likes it.
His hands spasm, clutching me harder. “No.”
“Was it what you wanted, sweet boy?”
“I’m not sweet,” he argues, avoiding the question.
“You did such a good job,” I tell him, feeling indulgent and soft in a way I never do when he’s not around. “Such a pretty mouth.”
He groans. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”
I smirk. That’s hot? No, he is. Those pictures of us at the club were infuriating because how dare anyone try to threaten Tommy, threaten me? But they were also…stimulating. Certainly…eye-opening.
Tommy wants to turn me gay?I think sardonically.I’m not, I don’t like men. I just like Tommy. He’s mine. He’s already got me.
The photo of him in my lap, head thrown back, looking euphoric, while I stared up at him? That’s my new screensaver. Damn, I didn’t know I made expressions like that. He makes me feel things.
I’m a manic over-thinker and that’s always been my best quality in my line of work, so my mind is already spinning withplans. How to keep him, how to claim him, how to make this forever. There is a major problem, however.
Kira’s engagement.
His continued presence was supposed to calm any rumors about her, to quell any scandal, to smooth over any hint of foul play. But instead, it’s the wall between us. I can’t claim him without throwing Kira into a wolves’ den of vicious gossip, a scandal as bad as, or even worse than, the original scandal of hiring Tommy in the first place.
It’s a whole mess. I’m not used to my plans being blocked, not used to feeling…feeling…Like I’m staring at a map in an unfamiliar language, and I need it to get where I want to go. Like I’m working on a puzzle with missing pieces, and I can’t do anything else until it’s finished.
How can I plan for him?
I didn’t anticipate him. Never in a thousand years would I have dreamt up someone like Tommy.
I won’t hurt Kira. I would never. But I won’t let Tommy go, either. I’m stuck. It’s an unfamiliar predicament.
He sighs when I pet his back, sounding like a kitten. Then, before I can comment on that, his stomach growls.
“You’re still hungry?”
“I didn’t eat much before the whole,” he flaps his hand around, smacking my shoulder, “blackmail thing.”
The reminder of his anxiety almost sours my mood, but it would take a lot more than someone threatening to ruin my entire life to dent my satisfaction right now.
Besides, the threat would need to be actually serious for me to worry about it. The blackmailer has no idea what they’re starting.
“Do you want take-out?”
“Can we just get, like, pizza or something?” He pulls his face out of hiding to wrinkle his nose up at me. The tear tracks on hisface are dry now, but so unbearably pretty on him. “Rich people food is getting kind of old. I can’t believe it, but it’s true.”
“Sure,” I rumble. But before he can go anywhere, I lean forward and press my lips to his. “Good boy,” I breathe against him.
He gasps, shivers all over, and tentatively kisses me, shyly, as if he didn’t just have his cock in the back of his throat a few minutes ago.
“Young-gi,” he rasps, and hearing the way his voice is getting hoarse almost makes me hard again.
