Betrayal crashes over me, making my mouth drop open. “Why?”
“I miscalculated.”
My face burns and I step away from him, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It was the safest way to get you out of the compound. Or at least, that’s what I told Patch. But the real reason is that I thought it was the only way to let you go. If you were looking me in the eyes…”
He stops abruptly, but I scowl at the regret written all over his face. “You were a coward.”
He barely blinks at the venom in my voice. “And a fucking fool. It just made things worse. You just followed me into my dreams.”
“Stop it.”
“I wish I could take it back.” Instead of stopping, he looks at me harder, like he’s trying to burrow inside my head. “I fucked up. Letting you go was bad enough, but I should’ve done more to protect you in the first place.”
I sigh, suddenly tired of all the things that should have happened but never did. “You weren’t the only one.” I nod towards the rose bushes, blooming with health. “My mom cared more about her flowers than she did me.”
Ark’s hand is back, now resting gently on my shoulder. “She was depressed, sweetheart. She couldn’t even look after herself.”
“I know.” Patch had explained it to me when she first tried to swallow a bottle of pills. She was sick, and while she loved me, she couldn’t always make good choices. It’s why Wings’ parents had first started inviting me into their pack suite, but I push those memories aside. “Did your dad ever end up telling you about your mom?”
Ark pulls a face, his gaze drifting over the garden. “Just that she was a girl at a rally. She had me, walked out of the hospital, and that was it. No name, no forwarding address. At least she left a note pinned to my blanket. ‘Property of the Iron Flyers MC.’”
I flinch, because the mystery around his mom’s identity was a common topic of speculation in the old clubhouse. It’s bad enough that his dad was such an asshole, but to discover that his mom left him without a backward glance must have been a bitter blow. “I’m sorry, Ark.”
He nods, but then gestures to our surroundings, his sweeping arm taking it all in. “This is where I belong. Not because of a note, or because of Booker, but because of everybody else. Everyone who's come here looking for the same thing.”
I study him, roaming over the strong bones and deep lines, so much harder than the face of a thirty-year-old should be. “You mean the brotherhood?”
“Pack,” he says softly, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “The family we get to choose, instead of the one who let us down.”
Chapter Twelve: ARK
I sleep badly, plagued as always, by wanting too much too fast. I got good at waiting things out when Booker was alive, pacing myself through the pain and humiliation until his attention was diverted by booze or a blowjob. But now that I’m in his place, and the clubhouse has been purged of most of his poison, I’m itching to accelerate the timeline. I want to bury every ugly memory, cut ties with every crooked contact, and make the Iron Flyers into the kind of club that my old man would havedespised.
Like I told Abbie, I want it to be the family we choose, instead of the one we survive.
Two cups of black-as-sin coffee, and I’m alert enough to go check in with Wings in the workshop. He’s in the middle of sanding a bike frame for a custom paint job and steps outside in full protective gear. As he pulls off his face mask and pushes his safety goggles onto the top of his head, I’m engulfed by his newfound scent. Where he once smelled like sunshine with a hint of musk, the sweeter notes are more prominent now, giving him a fragrance closer to dark chocolate. I know that myhindbrain will eventually recalibrate, filing this scent away and forgetting the other, but I have to wonder how hard it has been for him to accept the change.
“You doing okay, brother?”
“Sure, Ark.” Where most of the members call me boss or Pres, Wings and I go deeper than that. He’s one of the few people left in the club who know exactly how twisted my father was, despite my efforts to protect him from the worst of it. He once said we’re trauma bonded, although at the time I think he was referring to the brutal way Abbie was ripped out of our lives. “I’ve got a little flack, but not from the guys in the workshop.” He snorts as he casts a glance back over his shoulder. “The fumes are pretty toxic in here, though, so I doubt they can smell the difference.”
“Well, if anyone gives you any shit, send them my way.” He offers me a half eyeroll, and I plant my hands on my hips. “I’m serious, Wings. Maybe it just rolls off your back, but I’m not exposing the other omegas to that kind of bullshit.”
“Fair enough.” He straightens, his eyes narrowing. “Cruise told me that Abbie had a run-in with Jackpot yesterday. He didn’t hear it all, but he was spewing some shit about me, and when she told him to fuck off, he threatened her with a hammer.”
A deep, rolling rage moves through me.He raised a fucking weapon against her?I’ve been operating under the premise that I’ll keep Jackpot around until I’ve squeezed every last bitter drop out of him, but it looks like I need to accelerate his timeline, too.
“You should’ve told me right away.” Cruise too, for that matter. He’s promised me that he’d watch out for Wings, but he should know that protection also extends to Abbie. “I can’t keep her safe if I don’t know what’s happening.”
“She handled it.” I narrow my eyes right back at him and Wings lifts his hands in a placating gesture. “But I will let you know if he tries anything else.”
“Make sure you do.”
Wings’ mouth quirks as he runs his thumbnail over his cheek. “Don’t be surprised if she takes matters into her own hands, though. She was up at dawn and asking for directions to the gun range.”
Fucking hell. Abbie might have grown up in a clubhouse, but she’s spent the majority of her adult life on her own. She’s the definition of a lone wolf, which is one of the reasons I’m so anxious to bring her back into the fold. Being forced to take up arms against other club members is not part of that plan. “Thanks. Catch up with you later, brother.”
