The reality settled over me with a strange, layered effect: it was comforting to know the girls and Adam were fine without me, but also excruciating, like the world was moving on without any need to consult me. Still, a part of me couldn’t help what wonder what Adam was thinking. If he was relieved I’d left, or if he missed me at all. Probably not. He was always better at moving on and letting things go than I was.
“I’m fine,” I finally said, but it landed like a lead balloon. “Really, I’m just exhausted and catching up on work. How was the honeymoon? Do you have pictures?”
“We can talk about the honeymoon later,thisis more important.”
“There is nothis,” I stated with finality.
Birdie’s phone dinged and she glanced down at it. Her face dropped, which could only mean one thing. Dylan Douchebag Hart.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
Bailey and I shot each other a silent look to see who was going to field this one. She gave me the nod that she’d handle it and I gave her the floor.
“Are you and Dylan going to check out venues when he’s in town this weekend?” Bailey turned the inquiry spotlight onto our baby sister.
This weekend? Why was Dylan going to be in town this weekend? Was I missing something?
“That was the plan if he ends up coming,” Birdie replied.
Ends up coming?
“It’sThe Vowissue release party. Of course he’s going to come,” Bailey insisted.
Fuck me. I totally forgot that was this weekend. Since we weren’t the ones throwing it, I didn’t have anything to do with arranging it. All I’d done was respond to the e-vite over a month ago. With everything else going on, I had totally forgotten about it.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I was going to have to go to a party where there were photos of me. Not just me, me and Adam in bridal outfits and poses.
Oh shit.He was going to be there. And now he was probably bringing his super model girlfriend as his plus-one. Was that why she was in town?
Panic began to fill me from my feet all the way up to my head. There was no way I wanted to face Adam, not right now. Not when the wound of leaving was so fresh and he was clearly just going on living his life.
I wasn’t going to go. I would just say I was sick. Or dead. No, not dead. It wasn’t worth faking death. But sick, I could be sick.
No. I couldn’t do that to Birdie for the same reason I had to put all those dresses on in the first place. This was too big of a deal for her.
Not only was this her big debut inThe Vow, she’d also learned that she was up for Designer of the Year, which would be a huge deal to her career. I could not bail on her.
She already had one person in her life who was supposed to love her who was flaking on her, she didn’t need two. We didn’t have parents, our grandparents were gone. My sisters and I were all we had. This wasn’t about me, I had to show up for her.
I stood so fast my chair rolled back and hit the wall. Bailey and Birdie jumped at the noise. I grabbed my purse and rounded the desk. “I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”
“Are you okay?” Birdie twisted in her chair.
“Where are you going?” Bailey spoke at the same time.
“Shopping.” If I was going, I definitely needed a new dress.
40
BILLIE
I had becomea master at urban setting camouflage, hiding in plain sight, and tonight, my advanced skills in being neither seen nor heard were in put into action. The Vow Something Borrowed Something Blue edition launch party cocktail hour was in full swing and I’d stationed myself behind a hulking blue floral arrangement and an eight-foot ice sculpture of a swan wearing a blue garter.
Of course, my cloak-of-invisibility was imperviable to waitstaff. Nothing got past them. They saw all and heard all.
