His hands tightened around hers. She felt Az’s chest rise and fall with breaths, but she couldn’t move her body. She was trapped, but it was almost peaceful, being wrapped up in someone else, letting them take the reins.
I’m going to have so much fun with you.Fleeting pleasure licked against her, morphing before she could focus on it.That’s not why I brought you here. I want you to feel me. Feel my regret.
It slammed into her. If she could have gasped, she would have.
The vampire felt such sorrow at what he had done. The lies he had crafted, the ways he had tricked her, used her, and gone along with the King’s schemes.
He had never meant to—he had wanted to be more like Az, but something held him back from standing up for what he believed in.
Luella.
The promise of her.
You needed someone to care for you, on the inside. So, that is what I became. Remorse echoed his thoughts.Somewhere along the way, I got lost. I grew scared. Complacent. You became less of a promise and more of a curse. But when I saw you, when I went into your dreams before your capture, I realized how real you are. How sweet.The smoke of his thoughts flickered against her ghostly flesh, cool and sinful.I realized how deeply I had messed up. In trying to keep you safe from them, I became them.
Hearing his thoughts, standing within his mind, she wanted to tell him that she understood. She had never understood anything more than at that moment. He had tried to keep her safe, the only way he knew how. Centuries of waiting had beaten down on them all, changing them—for the worse.
She had forgiven Az. She had once wondered if Bastian could earn that forgiveness, too. Now the moment was here, and she was faced with it.
She understood, but a part of her, angry and desperate, wanted to hold her forgiveness away from him, let it dangle over his head, untouchable, for centuries. So he might know the true weight of remorse.
The smoke seeped away, and she was gently placed back inside her own mind.
Luella opened her eyes. Bastian was right before her, so close she could see the shifting swirls of deep maroon in his irises. It was as though they were the only two beings around.
He waited for her to speak.
"Bastian, I understand you, the decisions you made. That doesn’t mean"—she drew in a steadying breath—"that it didn’t hurt.Doesn’thurt," she corrected. "I understand. I will n-never forget, and I cannot say I forgive you yet."
She placed the last word there with aching care, a small breadcrumb thrown on the ground of her sentence.
It worked.
"Yet," Bastian echoed, hands flexing on hers, smooth fingertips brushing against her wrist, feeling her pulse. "That is something I can take. It is more than I deserve."
"But it is what I offer."
"Thank you," he murmured.
She wasn’t done. "Don’t tell me, show me." He started to speak, but she held out a hand, shaking slightly. "Not your emotions, but your actions. Show me you want my forgiveness, Bastian."
It was easy to tell, easy for him to allow her inside his mind to feel the weight of his remorse. Luella wanted more. She wanted… She didn’t know what she wanted. But she wanted him to regret it, toshowher. Like the gifts. Like staying out of her mind. Like speaking for her, when she was not able to.
A large, thick arm tightened around her waist, careful of her wings. "It’s much more than he deserves. You’re too sweet, Lu." Az’s voice was deep and grumbly with sleep. She was pressed against him, half-turned so her back would not touch him. She felt every word he spoke rumble through her, making her shiver. Her wings were still numb from the salve Tharen had placed on the bandages, but she swore the faintest prickle of awareness touched the base, fluttering at the sound of his voice, desperate to preen. It made her abashed.
She licked her lips, tasting pure rainwater on them. Her eyes fixed on green ones, burning with possessiveness as they flicked to the arm around her waist, the hands holding hers. She heldVale’s stare. "I would rather be sweet than not. There’s a unique strength to it, I’ve heard."
The dragon shifter’s shoulders sagged with a strained exhale. She untwisted her fingers from Bastian’s, reaching down to touch the bracelet on her wrist.
If they were playing a game of latrunculi, Luella would have just taken one of his pieces, taunting him with it.
"Since you’re obviously awake…" Tharen’s voice cut through the tension. The mage unfurled from his seated position, towering over her as he stalked to the furs. He jerked his head to the others. "Out of the way. I need to check her bandages and make sure she’s still healing well before we leave."
Bastian released her hands, but not before he leaned forward, the tip of his nose brushing against hers, once more. His cool breaths puffed over her cheeks and parted lips. She had to stop herself from gulping down the taste of his breath, his scent. "Okay," the vampire said.
She nearly asked what he was agreeing to, so overcome by his nearness; the spiced bergamot made her dizzy with want. But then she remembered. He was agreeing toshowher. She almost smiled.
The vampire moved to stand next to Graves. Az didn’t go far; the demon moved her from where she was bundled to his chest, shifting to sit by her ankles.
