The IV was gone, the drugs Lucien had used to keep her calm gone too. She’d never ask for more, but sometimes, alone at night, she wondered what he’d say if she begged for that soft, fuzzy oblivion again.
As if the veil between her and her past lives had been thinned by the drugs, she’d dreamed of her past, the men who claimed she was theirs. Now, with the drugs out of her system, she could only recall fragments, like the scattered pieces of a puzzle. Making no sense alone, but she knew if she had all the pieces and fit them together perfectly, it would all come into focus.
She’d dreamed ofKit.
Rin didn’t want to know what that meant.
And a stranger with black eyes haunted her dreams, a scent like home, filling her with calmness.
It was Christmas Eve, and Rin didn’t feel festive. She felt broken.
Still, the others tried.
Lucien had brought her favorite books, and Cyrus had curled up with her with a glass of eggnog. He’d never had it, he’d told her. His newest mission was decorating, even though after tomorrow, the holiday would be over and they’d be barreling straight toward a new year.
"Happy, merry, same thing. I can never keep up with you humans," Cyrus sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Rin leaned into him, the blankets tangled around her legs, in her lap. She wore thin shorts and an oversized hoodie that smelled faintly of Cyrus and Lucien’s laundry detergent. So, she assumed it had belonged to the incubus at one point or another, before being washed at Lucien’s apartment.
"Cyrus…" Rin mumbled.
His arm wrapped around her shoulder. "Yes, doll?"
"Do you think Kit’s looking for me?"
She felt him inhale.
"I don’t want to scare you, Ves."
She twisted in his hold, peering up at him. He was truly gorgeous and seemed so devoted to her. What had she done to deserve Soulbonds willing to risk everything for her? Well, except Rhyden. She shivered, pushing the thought aside.
"Only lies scare me. Never the truth."
Cyrus tangled his fingers in her hair before carding down the side of her neck. His hands caught in the chain of the dog tag—Kit’s last mark on her. Rin couldn’t bear to take it off.
"Lucien said your adoptive parents left the planet. They questioned him first about where you are. He’s pretending not to know anything, but he said that…"
"He said…?" Rin’s fingers slipped down his waist, tracing the lean ridges of his muscle, gently inching up the fabric. He jumped beneath her touch.
"Your touch feels so good, but I know you’re trying to distract me," he said fondly. "Fine. Your doctor lover said his office wasbroken into yesterday. A picture of you, Lucien had on his desk, he said it was stolen. Everything important had been left. We think it was him.Kiton."
Rin flinched away from the utter violence imbued in that one word. She started to shake. Kit had been in Lucien’s office… Electricity buzzed sickeningly in her mind. "What if—what if Lucien had been there? What if Kit had hurt him like he hurt me? I’d never forgive myself?—"
Cyrus soothed her, cradling her face in his hands. His purple eyes seemed to glow. "Don’t panic, doll. Please, it breaks my heart. Let me take it from you, hm? The fear. It won’t hurt. It’ll feel nice. I promise."
She nodded helplessly.
Red glimmers filled the air, prickling against her skin.
She felt him as he drifted inside her, latching onto her terror and sipping at it. Like a popped balloon, the fear left her.
With the absence of fear, she was left with deep sadness only.
The glimmers faded into him, as if they’d never been there. Cyrus stroked his thumbs beneath her eyes, catching her tears. Rin held onto his wrists, the red jewels on her bracelet catching the lights on the little tree behind him.
"There, all done. Does that feel better for you?"
"I’m not scared anymore." Rin was just hollow.
