“Why did you snap, Killi? I need to understand,” he says, curled up in his bed. We should be sleeping by now, but it seems like he’s just as disturbed as I am.
“It doesn’t matter . . .” I sigh. How do I convince him to stop asking? I don’t want to talk badly of his boyfriend. Although it was him who made me feel like I was no longer needed.
Damien turns to face my bed on the opposite side of the room. Even in the darkness, his blue eyes are easy to distinguish, staring at me and glistening with worry.
Now I have to feel guilty for that too. Fucking great.
“Did Owen do something to you?” he asks, and I flinch.
Owen has nothing to do with the crap I got myself into. It would have been much better to have sex with him, honestly. At least he wouldn’t have reminded me of Damien. And now I wouldn’t be fantasizing about climbing into his bed and sucking his dick until he comes in my mouth over and over again and begs me to stop.
Shit, I’m knee-deep into this mess.
“No, this is all on me. Just let it go, please?” My words sound too desperate, and the worst thing that could possibly happen . . . happens.
Damien jumps out of his bed and quickly crosses the room. His soft, naked steps on the hardwood floors remind me of when we were just kids. When he’d sneak from his bed into mine, so that I could shelter him from the loud arguments our parents had all the time. And that’s exactly what he does now; he crawls into my bed.
Oh, no . . . Holy shit.
I stop breathing as he gets under the covers and curls into a ball next to me, nuzzling his face in my neck. It’s been yearssince he’s done this. We were both children when it started, and it was a completely innocent thing. It was normal to wrap my arms around his tiny body and let him sleep where he felt safe. Even when we were much older and we’d already run away from home, he’d done this when he’d felt really upset. And I never thought anything of it.
This time, however, is different. I can’t stop my skin from erupting into goosebumps, and my heart from beating hard against my ribcage. I can’t stop the rush of blood towards my groin either, which is probably the worst part. Damien’s breath is hot against my skin, and he smells heavenly. His scent reminds me a lot of honey and mint.
Fucking Jacob chose his nickname pretty well . . .
I try to move away, but the wall behind my back makes it impossible. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by what is happening, as if he’s still the same innocent child. Because it doesn’t turn him on like it does to me.
Why does that hurt? Do I want him to be uncomfortable too? Do I really want him to be as fucked-up as I am?
“Please, talk to me, Killi . . .” Damien whispers. His voice is so soft that it makes me shiver. I beg that he doesn’t notice my dick getting harder with each passing second. “Don’t drift away from me. I need you.”
My heart twists painfully at his words. Am I drifting away? I thought he was, with the whole Jacob thing. But I can’t deny that I’ve been acting weird too. At least since I started having these thoughts about him, that are way too inappropriate. I wish they would just disappear, but they only seem to get louder and louder, fueled by each breath I take of his scent.
I have to say something that will distract him from what’s actually happening, before he realizes it. He’s not stupid; it won’t take long for him to figure it out. But what do I say? Blame Jacob? That seems like the only way out right now.
“It’s just—” The knot in my throat makes me choke on my own words. “I had a conversation with Jacob that made me feel like I wasn’t needed anymore.”
It isn’t a lie, is it? He doesn’t need to know the rest, but saying that much will probably satisfy him for now.
“Jacob?” Damien looks up at me, frowning. Thankfully, he buries his face in my neck again after a second, because the urge to kiss him is too intense. “What did he say? Maybe I should break up with the fucker.”
Yes! I mean—no.
Yes, I do want you to break up with him.
Although I shouldn’t.
“He cares about you—” Saying those words makes me nauseous. “But he did make me feel like I don’t belong anymore, like I’m a burden or something.”
“Bullshit!” Damien hisses into my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin and making my dick very happy. “Fuck him, Killi. You’ll never be a burden to me. If anyone is out of place, it’s him. Maybe he thinks himself more important than he is.”
“Well, you heard what he said earlier tonight too . . .” I sigh, still bitter about the way he said I’d be the one to drag Damien down. The motherfucker doesn’t know the amount of times I had to save my brother from himself.
“Yeah—” Damien huffs out an ironic laugh. “That’s exactly why I put him in his place. I won’t let him get between us, Killi. You’re everything to me. It’s us against the world, remember?”
Fuck.
Fuck!
