Damien’s relentless stare is now on me, precisely on my crotch. Does he notice my jeans tenting? Shit. It only turns me on more. This ridiculous one-sided game I’m playing will be the end of me, I swear. But my brother shows no reaction, just looks up my torso until he meets my eyes.
My soul burns for him as I get lost in the darkness of his blue irises. So much so that my eyes flicker alight for a fraction of a second. He frowns slightly at that, tilting his head to the side. I look away, trying to fidget with the fabric of the armchair, butwe’re not home; there are no loose threads to twist around my fingers.
So, I force my eyes to stay trained on the TV and its backlights, which cast a colorful halo on the dark wall. Anything is better than staring at Damien right now. He’s too cute, and I’m too aroused.
The urge to ask him to go back home with me is so strong that my legs twitch as if they were trying to stand up on their own. But I can’t do that; I shouldn’t. Nothing would happen, anyway. He’d probably sleep on my bed, yes—but we’d just cuddle, no matter how much I wish that wasn’t the case. Damien is obviously spending the night at Jacob’s, and I’m leaving with Owen any minute now.
It’s good, I guess. It will help to take my mind off this sick obsession of mine. That’s why I accepted Owen’s invitation to hang out at his place. If I went back to Caleb, I’d only be feeding more fuel to my fantasies. It’s bad enough already, isn’t it? I can’t even sit with my brother in a room full of people without my mind spiraling.
I need a break from my own brain.
“Should we get going, Killien?” Owen says, slapping my knee affectionately, making me snap out of the whirlwind in my mind.
I nod and force myself to smile, feeling Damien’s burning gaze on me. Even without looking, I can tell that his lips are twitching as he presses them into a thin line. What is he thinking? Why is he reacting like that? Is it really jealousy, or am I missing something? Maybe he’s just worried about me, and I shouldn’t be overthinking it.
Owen stands and takes a few steps towards the small square dining table, and his car keys clink against the glass as he picks them up. Damien’s eyes follow him, shamelessly glaring, not caring that I’m watching. Why does it turn me on so much when he acts like that? Like the brat he is, like violence is brewinginside him and about to burst. And why do I want to be there to watch it happen?
So many questions that I no longer want to answer, because I’ve accepted my feelings, even if they are wrong—it is what it is. I drown in them as my brother’s eyes turn to me. He jumps off his seat, leaving Jacob behind, and hurries towards me.
All I do is smile at him when he drops on the armrest, right where Owen was sitting a few seconds ago. The leather squeaks under his weight, muffled by the cheerful voices of the fang gang. His expression softens as he stares into my eyes, probably trying to read me.
“You sure about this, Killi?” he asks, his voice soft.
Fuck, he cares. Even if it’s just brotherly love . . .
I place a hand on his knee, feeling his warm skin through the slit on his black jeans, because I can’t help it. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“Call if you need me, please.” I’ve never seen him so worried about me in our entire lives. My heart aches and melts at the same time. “If you change your mind at any point, just go home and we’ll ask Jacob to feed you again. Promise me, please.”
“Okay, I will,” I reassure him. “But don’t stress, Damien. I know how to take care of myself. Enjoy the night, will you?”
Damien nods. For a moment, I think he’s going to lean forward and kiss me. But he just stares at my lips for a while before looking away. It’s confusing as fuck. I can feel the air crackling around us from the sexual tension, but it must be just me. The urge to force my lips on his is so strong that I push myself to stand and back away.
“Don’t let him pressure you into doing anything you don’t want,” he whispers, his voice so low I barely hear it. I shake my head and smile, wishing the world would vanish around us. Maybe then, I’d cave in and finally get a taste of him.
“Ready?” Owen chimes in as he stands beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Damien’s eyes turn rabid at the sight of it, making my entire body tingle with desire.
“Yeah—” I huff out a breath, willing myself to stay calm and not burst into flames. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Damien’s gaze doesn’t leave me until we’re out of the apartment; it burns my skin and my soul alike. For a moment, I fantasize with the idea of leaving with him instead of Owen. But that’s not possible. It’s just my wicked mind playing games with my heart.
Twenty-One
Damien
Killien left the apartment with Owen and I’m fucking pissed. He’s become very touchy-feely with me over the past week—which I obviously love. I’ve slept on his bed more than once, and I can tell that he buzzes with desire when we’re close. Just like when we were in the car earlier, and he stared at my lips like he wanted to eat me alive.
But he did nothing.
I can’t handle it, seriously. It’s like a very long edging session we’re having. I might as well self-combust at any second if he keeps playing this damn game.
My blood is boiling with rage and desire combined in a deadly cocktail, and I need to take it out on someone. Luckily, Jacob is here to take one for the team. He’s gonna get wrecked. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Jacob’s long fingers run down my arm and get between mine to hold my hand. “You’re frowning again,” he whispers in my ear.
We stand in the almost empty parking lot, watching Abby’s car disappear in the distance. The night is quiet. All starry skies and crickets singing in the distance. A soft winter breeze ruffles my hair and tickles my waist as it gets underneath my oversized tank top.
“Is there something wrong?” Jacob’s boots drag the gravel underneath his feet as he turns to face me.
