I’m not stopping him either.
It seems like we didn’t even need to run away, after all. Although I must say, I prefer it this way. Owen turned out to be the perfect excuse for us to leave everything behind—which I’m more than thankful for. It’s not easy to admit, but havingDamien to myself is exactly what I wanted. It’s more than that: it feelsright. Like it’s just how it was always meant to be.
It’s us against the world.
That’s all that matters.
Don’t get me wrong, I do feel bad for Jacob. I don’t think he deserved to be left over the phone like that, but part of me enjoyed witnessing the moment Damien chose me over him. Horrible, I know. I’m no longer surprised by my evil side, though. I always thought I was a good guy, but lately I’ve been slipping. Maybe it’s just part of being a vampire. Who knows? My morals have tilted to the side, or maybe they just flew out the window.
“Fucking finally!” Damien says, forcing my attention back to the road.
There’s an exit coming up, indeed. My shoulders become tense as I slow down the car and drive down the smaller road. It’s literally the middle of nowhere, all dark desert hills and starry sky. A warm and unfamiliar sensation starts in my stomach as I think of what might happen next. Why does it feel like it’s the perfect scenario?
I drive a few miles away from US-93, and take one of the many dirt roads that lead to the middle of the mountains. Damien remains quiet, with his gaze lost somewhere in the darkness, as we move through the rocky grounds. I finally stop in an area that looks secluded enough, where cars that might pass through the dirt road won’t see us once the lights are off.
When I stop the engine, my hands rest on my thighs. I’m tapping them with my fingers, but I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s not like me to be this nervous. If someone would have told me I’d be in this exact situation just a year ago, I would have laughed my ass off in disbelief. But so much has changed.
Ihave changed. I’ve chosen to deviate from my path. And I don’t regret it.
Maybe it’s what I’ve always wanted, deep down.
Damien looks at me with a blank expression, then steps out of the car into the darkness. It takes a while for me to react, as I’m left there blinking slowly and staring at his silhouette walking away. Where the hell is he going? I step out too and chase after him.
I find my brother sitting on the dirt with his legs extended forward and leaning back on his hands. His deep blue eyes are fixed on the hills on the horizon, only decorated by a few shrubs scattered through them.
My heart skips a beat at the sheer beauty of him. The creature who captured my heart against my will. The little devil that finally managed to deviate me from the silly path I set for myself all those years ago.
The immense wilderness and the subtle breeze that engulf us remind me of the night before my seventeenth birthday. Of the first time I felt truly at peace, with just the two of us, nature, and silence. It was the best birthday present I’d ever gotten, something that only the person who had known me best in the entire world could have provided.
Damien looks up at me as I sit beside him, a shy smile forming on his lips. His many piercings glisten under the moonlight, just like his beautiful blue eyes. It’s so easy to get lost in the mysterious ocean of his irises. I remember when we were just kids and I felt so jealous of his eyes. He was always the special one, of course. The cute one.
There was nothing special about me, at least not in a good way. Being a ginger wasn’t something that people seemed to like, especially not when I didn’t have green eyes to match. My ordinary brown eyes said nothing, and the freckles on my nose and cheeks made me feel ugly. But Damien’s face always lit up when he looked at me, even back then when we were so young.
I huff at the simple realization that, maybe, he was already into me at that time. So many years ago. And it took me so long to get here. It’s almost ridiculous. I should have known a while ago, shouldn’t I?
“What’s on your mind, Killi?” he asks.
I take a deep breath as my heart beats loudly in my ears. We’re alone in the immensity of the dark desert, enveloped by a faint cool breeze. All I can feel is the warmth of his skin beside me, and all I smell is his sweet honey-like scent. My entire body screams for me to press my lips to his, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it.
“Nothing . . .” I look away from him, as if that will stop the fire burning inside me from rising to my cheeks. Of course, it doesn’t. “I was just . . . reminiscing.”
Damien smiles. “The good ol’ days, right?”
“Not really—” With much effort and a sharp pain shooting through my heart, I intertwine my fingers with his. He looks back at our hands that rest on the dirt. “Things are much better now.”
The smile on Damien’s face widens, and the most wonderful thing happens. His eyes light up, slowly glowing brighter and brighter as he directs his gaze to my face. He’s never looked so angelic. He always refers to himself as a little devil—and I often do too—but that’s not what he looks like at the moment.
“Fuck, Killi . . .” he whispers before biting the corner of his lower lip. “You’re making it so hard for me to hold back right now.”
His words puzzle me. “Why are you holding back?”
“Because I don’t know if you’re really on board with this.” Damien sighs, closing his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them again, they’re still glowing bright blue and turquoise, with the most stunning silver threads.
“I’m knee-deep in whatever this is.” I laugh, feeling the fire behind my eyes intensify. They’ll probably light up soon too. “Are you having second thoughts—?
“Never! Not about us.” Damien throws his head back and stares at the starry sky above again. “But, I dunno, today was a stressful day. I don’t wanna put pressure on you . . .”
Since when does Damien act like this? Putting someone else’s well-being before his desires? He doesn’t say shit like this. Never. Not to anyone else, at least. This is just . . .for me. Like when he took me camping all those years ago.
