For the past two weeks, we’ve been on top of each other almost 24/7. We rented an apartment with a nice view of downtown Vegas, using only a bit of Owen’s money. Killien refuses to tell me how much it actually is, and he makes sure that I don’t get my hands on the cash.Because I’ll waste it all, according to him. Fucker.
He might be right, though.
At least Owen was good for something, I guess. We’re living comfortably thanks to him, getting to know our new city. I’m itching for a kill, but we’re lying low until we figure out whatwe’re gonna do with the bodies. Not like weneedto kill, since we’re feeding off each other. But I want to, I really do.
Killien’s head turns towards me, a subtle smile curling up the corners of his mouth. My heart seems to stop beating as I get lost in his brown eyes, almost forgetting that space and time exist. I smile back at him, feeling the love that courses through my veins ignite the fire behind my eyes; they glow for him instantly. And the most magnificent thing of all is that his eyes light up in response to mine.
We stare at each other for a while, just knowing that we belong together. That this overwhelming, suffocating love that crushes our souls is mutual. I can’t imagine life without Killien. It’s all I know, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
“What are you thinking about, baby?” he asks, his voice is silky soft. Each time he calls mebaby, the butterflies in my stomach seem to dance around. I love it.
“Nothing. Just . . . admiring you.”
His smile widens. “You’re not bored of me already?”
“What? Bored?” I huff in disbelief. “Killi, I’ll never be tired of you. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t take anything back. Well, actually—there is one thing I’d change. I wish I’d done something sooner. I should have never gotten involved with Jacob. I should have gone right after you.”
The mention of Jacob’s name seems to startle him. He’s told me countless times that he feels bad for the way I broke up with him. I can’t say I don’t, honestly. As surprising as it is, because I’m a brat and I used to have no feelings for anyone besides Killien. But the whole thing with Jacob still stings. It’s the first time I feel true guilt, and I don’t like it one bit.
“There’s no point in regretting that, Damien,” my brother says, squeezing my hand tightly. “We still have the rest of eternity ahead of us. The few months you think we lost won’t change that.”
“I still wish I hadn’t fucked up the way I did . . .” The words roll through my tongue effortlessly. Admitting that out loud comes a lot easier than I expected. I just feel too comfortable around him.
Killien seems to ponder my words for a while, his gaze slowly moving around my face. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot too. We should ask him if he wants to meet us and apologize.”
“What?” I almost sit up on my elbows, dragging my sneakers against the small rocks and sand under our feet.
Is he out of his mind? Jacob won’t want to see me. It will be a waste of time.
“Yeah, we should text him and ask if he’s willing to talk to us. I really think we should make this right, Damien. He did a lot for us, and I don’t feel comfortable just leaving him behind, as if he meant nothing.”
Okay, now I’m a bit jealous.
Is he admitting that he liked Jacob? Or is this strictly friendly? Goddammit. Why am I even thinking about that, when I was the one who dragged Jacob’s heart through the dirt? It was me who fucked up, not them.
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Those words feel particularly heavy on my heart.
Fuck, I do care about Jacob. This sucks.
Killien laughs softly and shrugs, scooting closer to me until our foreheads touch. “I don’t know. But we still should apologize, even if he won’t accept it.”
I hate that he’s right about this. I continue to roll my lip ring, now doing it because I’m getting anxious. I’ve never had to face consequences for my bullshit before. But then again, I never cared. I had no fucks to give, which I do now, apparently. Is it because Jacob’s blood runs through my veins? Or is it because I’m truly capable of loving someone other than Killien?
No, I don’tloveJacob. I just . . . like him. Want him, maybe. I don’t think I could feel this overwhelming love for someone other than Killien. But it doesn’t matter, because liking Jacob is enough for me to need to make this right. He really did a lot for us, especially for me.
“You’re right, Killi. I’ll text him,” I sigh, pressing my nose against his.
Killien’s sweet tangerine breath comforts me. Having him close makes me feel powerful, almost invincible. If he’s beside me, then I’m sure I’ll be able to face this. As weird and uncomfortable as it gets, I’m going to do what has to be done. I don’t want to live forever with this burden.
Thirty-One
Killien
Ididn’t think Damien would be so easy to convince. It all happened too fast. I had to tell him what I was feeling, even if I thought it would end up in a fight. But that wasn’t the case. Far from it, he showed genuine remorse.
My brother was never capable of such things before. Have I softened him? He has definitely toughened me up, so that could very well be it. We complement each other in a way that can’t really be explained. And, even if we know each other better than anyone else could, he still found a way to surprise me.
I smile as I watch him scroll on his phone, his legs crossed and foot dangling as if he’s anxious. He looks tiny on thehuge sectional that takes up most of the living room space. It’s definitely fancy, upholstered in a black velvety fabric. Like everything else in this apartment, it was already here before we got in. We’re not sure for how long we’ll be renting it, so it’s convenient.
