Yosh drops down beside me, takes a little sip from his cup, letting his face do the talking. No words needed, he looks content about it.
We sit in silence, sipping. It feels like we’ve hit that edge where too many words could tip it into awkwardness.
Not that I’m overly worried. I like him, no mather what this turns into.
Still… There’s something addictive about this slow circling. Testing, sniffing each other out like two dogs meeting on the sidewalk, seeing who gives first. I love the ferality of it.
Anyway, he looks a lot better than he did last night.
That pile of papers on his desk might serve as a welcome distraction.
“How do you feel?” I ask, voice still rough with sleep.
Yosh closes his eyes and takes my hand.
“Listen,” he says softly. “What do you hear?”
I shut mine too, not really sure where this is going, but I’m willing to follow.
I let the sounds filter in, and automatically start to layer them.
“Birds,” I murmur. “Waves, rolling out on the beach. A rooster?” I huff, then smile. I’m not sure if I’m imagining things, so I push myself to listen deeper. “The wind through the palms. The tap of the sprinklers in the courtyard. Voices outside these four walls.”
I open my eyes again, he’s smiling at me. Something in his gaze visits weak spots in my walls.
He cups his hands around my ear, and while I wait for what’s coming, my eyes go to the crystals on the shelves, spreading vivid colors across the room like tiny stars. Then I feel his breath brushing my ear.
“It’s the sound of a new day.”
He squeezes my hands, inviting me to stay in his world a little longer.
It guts me. I want to throw up right on the spot thinking about the shit I dragged him through yesterday.
He’s so damn pure. So honest. So completely himself.
And I don’t know what to do with someone like that without ruining it.
It makes me realize that maybe, you know, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to create some space between us.
He could surely use the time off to get some rest, and I… I need to get my mind straight, because I think I’m close to freaking out.
The past few weeks I’ve shown him how bad I wanted him. The hunt, that’s the part I know. The part I’m good at.
But like always, my mouth and my actions run faster than my brain can keep up, and now?
I have no fucking clue what the hell I’m supposed to do next.
I don’t know how to do…this.
Feelings. Connection. Relationships?
Shit.
I’ve never had one. Not with a woman, not with a man.
Who’s talking relationships?
Fuck, McKenna, how on earth did you get yourself into this?
