“I know it’s stupid.” I stare at my knees, then force myself to look at him. “Is it stupid?”
“You’ve seen my studio at Arcadia, Yosh, papers flying everywhere. I write everything down, so no, I don’t think it’s stupid.”
Right. He’s a songwriter, of course he writes things down.
“It’s just that I prefer analog over digital,” I say, “which brings me to my first point. Yesterday. We shouldn’t have done that.”
Tom squints. “You mean the phone sex?”
Seriously, this man is trying to kill me.
“No. I mean the phone, not the sex part. That was…” I cough.
“Tech doesn’t belong in moments like that. Serious conversations. Intimacy. I don’t do smart devices. Ever.”
I offer him a napkin from my backpack. The guava has left sticky juice on both our fingers.
“Friendly advice,” I add. “If you want to keep your music safe, don’t use your phone to record.”
“Kay.” He shrugs, wiping his hands. “I can live with that. Why?”
“I have my reasons.”
He uses the napkin to wipe juice from the corner of his mouth. Slow. Intentional. Full, rosy lips.
“I thought it was hot. Slept like a baby after I shot my load. And you?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Me too.”
“So, phone sex was hot. Not doing it again because you have your reasons.” He tilts his head.
“What else is on your list, love?”
His hand lands on my knee, thumb brushing over the thin, dark hairs there.
“I need to apologize,” I say. Meanwhile he’s trying to charm his way in-between my legs.
“I failed you in Arcadia.”
He squints and pulls his hand back.
“You came here to heal. To slow down. And I let my feelings get in the way of that.”
My throat tightens, but I keep going.
“What’s been happening between us is unethical. I need you to know I’ve never done this before. Not once. You’re the only one.”
I keep staring at the ground.
“And for obvious reasons, I need to hand you back to Erin. I’m sorry my actions kept you from getting the support you actually needed.”
Tom exhales. “Nah. It’s me, I put you in that position. I’ve been flirting with you since day one, and all my references say I’m irresistible.”
I shove his shoulder. He nearly loses his balance.
We laugh and he bumps me back.
“It wasn’t fair of me either, Yosh. And you did help me. A lot. I feel better. Things are starting to make sense. I know I’m not there yet, but for the first time in my life, I actually have hope things will be okay.”
