Besides, Amsterdam. Not exactly the wildest thing to happen in the city centre.
Smoke trails from my lips as I admire the view in this tropical Garden of Eden.
The way Yosh runs his hands over that perfect body, hair spilling down his back like a waterfall, water dripping from his parted lips as he touches himself.
Another long inhale. The cigarette glows.
This should be illegal.
And knowing he’s mine? God, it’s everything.I’m going to marry that guy one day.
I join him in the outdoor shower. He wastes no time shoving toothbrush and toothpaste into my hand.
Message received, the cigarette was a mistake.
Ten minutes later, we’re back inside and ready for bed. I walk in with a glass of water just as Yosh ties off his braid. He looks a little distant, I hope he’s not pissed off with me.
We slide under the sheets and I take his hand. “Look, I only need a cigarette after sex or when someone’s really pissing me off.”
He gives me a wry smile and pulls himself closer, burying his face in my neck, hand resting on my ink as he settles.
“It’s not that.” His fingers move to the moles on my chest. He connects them with his fingertips, tracing constellations across my skin next to my wolf.
“Are you okay? Talk to me, love.”
I lift his chin to meet his eyes.
“I don’t know how to explain it. I feel everything too intensely, and when it all starts piling up, all I want is a way out. Meditation used to help. Running too. But after SeaBreeze… Sapphire, I can feel myself craving those pills again.”
Rage surges through me, hot and immediate. My nails press into my palms.
I swear to God, I’m going to kill Terrence.
“Don’t do that. I can feel your energy shifting.”
Shit. He’s right. Rage won’t help him. I drag it back in, force myself to calm down. For his sake.
“Love, you’re safe with me. I’m not letting you go through this alone. Tell me what you need. I’ll do it.”
I pull him in by his waist, kissing his damp hair for a long time.
Fuck. He already feels like home.
He looks up from my chest, “I want you close, Sapphire. Maybe you can distract me?”
“Alright, I can come up with enough bullshit to keep you entertained for hours. Tell me a random European city and I’ll give you a crazy story that happened there.”
It works. He laughs, tucking his face into my collarbone.
“How about you tell me about your daughter? Only if you want to.”
My smile’s gone. Trust Yosh to go straight for the one thing I never talk about, not even with myself.
What escapes me isn’t a laugh, it’s layered with misery and nerves.
“Did you really have to shoot a bullet straight through my heart?”
“Effy is a part of you. I’d like to know about her.”
