Jay stares at the floor. His fingers tap out a restless rhythm on the armrest of the rattan chair. A frown creases his forehead as he thinks about my words.
“Okay,” he says. “We can try it. On one condition.”
There it is, Jay’s move. He can accept my gambit, but only if I pay the price.
“I want the family together for Christmas next month. So I’d like you at Heatherfell. I want it to be special for Effy. For all of us. A celebration of the next generation of McKenna.”
Christmas with the family. Intense.
I have to go to Heatherfell, because if I don’t, Jay might pull the whole deal off the table.
“Of course I’ll come for Christmas.” I don’t think I’ve ever smiled this fake. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Jay claps his hands together. If there’s one thing that brings him joy, it’s watching his plans fall perfectly into place.
Meanwhile he has no idea I’m playing a different game of chess. Because Yosh is my king, and I’ll sacrifice myself to protect him.
“Perfect!” Jay says. “By the way, Calvin showed me some of your new work yesterday.”
“Oh, he did?”
“Yes, it’s fantastic, Tommy. I can hear the old you in it. The chorus layering is clever. Finish it. I’ll sell it to the highest bidder.”
Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but it’s smarter not to make a fuss.
Staying with Yosh matters more than the work. I’ll go back to commercial shit if it keeps Jay off my back.
Jay reaches out. Our fingers meet and slide into place at exactly the right moment. We turn our hands, palms slap, and finish with a fist bump.
Our secret handshake.
He’d made it up one of the times Mum ran off, trying to cheer me up. It worked. I got obsessed and wouldn’t let him walk into the living room without doing it. Half the time, he’d fake a trip to the kitchen just so he could come back and see me grin.
I hadn’t even noticed when Mum came back two weeks later. Jay’s inventions helped me not notice a lot of things back then.
Guilt creeps in. Maybe I’ve been too quick to judge him for all the shit he’s done.
It would be much easier if he was one hundred percent awful, but he’s not. He’s always looked out for me and Cheryl in his own fucked-up way, I can’t argue that. At least he’s always protected his siblings in a life where it’s been us against the world. Looking back, that’s probably what shaped him. Always taking the hits before they could reach us.
What if I told him he could use therapy? Make it a family session.
Nah. Forget it. No therapist on earth would survive the full McKenna mess.
Coordinates. It became part of our language after that prank Yosh pulled on me in Palm Oasis.
So I’d sent him a couple earlier, a time and afeel well enough to meet me tonight?He’d said he was looking forward to it.
I’d told him no pressure, that I could come by his place if he didn’t feel like going out.
SeaBreeze had brought back the war for Yosh, and the old way he used to survive it.
Leaving for Palm Oasis earlier had felt wrong, but I had to go. Not going would’ve made it worse. Jay would’ve found me eventually, and I couldn’t risk leading him to Villa Crumble Aparté.
Luckily, Tiffy had a couple days off and kept him company, showing up with her auntie’s stew, because Yosh’s skill set does not extend to the kitchen.
This morning, he replied with a string of hearts and nothing since. I guess he’s coming.
I’m sitting at a rustic wooden table in cream-colored sand, torches flickering along the shoreline.
