“Shh.”
He lifts his hand but doesn’t open his eyes. A long exhale follows.
“I just wanted—”
“Shh.”
Fucking hell. I’m trying to have a serious conversation to make things right, and he has the audacity to shush me?
I push myself up, ready to leave, but before I can get to my feet, his hand grips my arm. He yanks me back down beside him.
“Stay.”
“What am I supposed—”
“Follow my lead. Remain silent until you’re spoken to.”
I roll my eyes but I follow his breathing.
It takes a minute—maybe longer—but eventually, we find a shared balance. Long, deep inhales. Controlled exhales. In unison.
It’s dangerously close to connecting.
I find oxygen, hear the birds in the evening sky. Occasionally, droplets from the fountain splash against my cheek. It’s doing something to me.
And yes, It’s overwhelming, but in the best way. Amsterdam never sleeps, and neither did I. But now, the salty ocean air fills my lungs and I start to understand why he’s doing this. Why a place like Arcadia exists. And more than that: I start to understand how much I actually need this.
“Okay, one last time,” Yosh says. “Breathe in as deep as you can. Hold it for seven seconds. Then push all the air out.”
I do as he says. When I open my eyes, I find him staring at me.
“How did that feel?”
“Good.”
“Good.”
With that, he rolls up his mat and tosses it onto a nearby rack.
I trail behind him, but he ignores me. Silent treatment. Fair enough. I had it coming.
“Yosh, can we please talk?”
“Okay. Speak.”
“About this morning, I shouldn’t have said all that stuff. It wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
I rub the back of my neck, gathering my thoughts. “I really am sorry, Yosh. I hope you still want to continue working with me. If you don’t, I totally understand.”
That makes him stop, arms folded as he turns.
“I appreciate the apology, Tom, but you don’t have to wonder whether I’ll quit on you or not. I can handle it. You’re not the first one lashing out like a rabid dog and biting at anything that gets too close.”
He tilts his head slightly. “It happens. Fear does that to people. And I get it.”
Relief washes over me, before Yosh steps closer and lifts a finger in front of my nose. Suddenly his face is just inches from mine now.
“But never, ever, get in my personal space again.”
