And just like that, the lump in my throat is back.
I really didn’t want to go back there. My head feels wrapped in fog, every thought dissolving before I can turn it into words. Honestly, I’ve got nothing left to say.
I offer him a faint nod and something that’s supposed to pass as a genuine smile.
“I’m fine.”
He sighs, joining me on the bed.
“Yesterday you faced your biggest pain. It’s okay not to be okay. We don’t have to talk unless you want to, but I want you to know I’m proud of you, Sapphire. Like, really proud.”
I rub my eyes; they’re still sore and swollen from yesterday.
“I just hope…” I swallow hard. His hand circles gently over my back. The warmth of his soothing touch makes me want to hold back my words.
“Tell me,” he whispers softly.
“I don’t want to turn into a fucking burden for you. I know I come with a crazy family and enough baggage to fill a cargo hold.”
He gives me a soft look, like he’s hurting for me, leaving me feeling uneasy and vulnerable. Most people latch onto the joke. That’s the point of it. But not him. He always sees straight through the smokescreen.
“You’re not too much for me, Tom. It’s them. It’s always been them. They twist things until you think you’re the problem, but you’re not. You’re my lionheart, Sapphire. Don’t let this place tame your bright soul.”
It’s them.
The verdicts Jay and Cheryl stamped on me fire through my head like they have for the last twenty years.
Ungrateful. Unstable. Too much. Maybe I am all of it, or maybe I never was.
I want to believe Yosh, let him be my way out of this prison. But some fucked-up part of me still thinks I owe the pack. That walking away is treason and I won’t make it on my own. But god, I’m going under if I keep bleeding for their control.
Yosh calls me his lionheart, so maybe I can walk away from it.
I raise my lashes, and it only takes one look at him to realize I have to. I need to get this sorted out so I can be the man he can lean on when the dark days come. Because just like rain and thunderstorms, they will come.
“Should I walk away from the pack?”
“The fact that you’re even asking says enough. You’ve seen today who’s really on your side. Stay close to the ones who support you, and work on things with Effy. Leave the rest behind.”
I flex my jaw. “You're absolutely right, but it feels like my feet are frozen in place. Just thinking about leaving has me terrified.”
He studies me for a moment, as if he’s trying to make a choice. Then he reaches for his necklace, widening the cord to slip it off. There’s a faint tremor in his fingers, but he follows through.
What the hell is going on? Why is he doing this? That stone’s glued to his chest.
His fingers go over the gemstone that looks like a triangular shark’s tooth. Its shades of gray and black remind me of the depths of stormy eyes.
“You want to know why I wear it?”
“It’s not because it looks pretty, is it?”
He huffs a soft laugh, but that doesn’t mask a sadness pearling deep in his eyes.
“It’s an onyx, It’s for protection, courage, and strength. It kept me alive when I didn’t want to be.”
He kisses my hair as he tightens the necklace at the back of my neck. The stone touches my skin, still warm from his.
“I’m giving it to you because you’ll need what it can give. When you no longer do, return it to me. You’ll know when that day comes.”
