Instinctively, I grab his hand again. This makes me sick to my stomach. I want to scream, rant, do anything but sit here in silence, but I can’t.
I’m here to create a safe space and listen to the things he’s never dared to say out loud.
I shut my eyes for a moment, coaxing my thoughts to slow and my breath to follow.
Tom goes on.
“It was all over the tabloids that I was hospitalized. Jay told everyone I’d got into a bar fight and I…I went along with it. Told the police the same thing. I didn't want the band to fall apart.”
A tear falls down before he can wipe it away. “It was my—”
“No.” I cut in. “This wasn’t your fault. None of it was.”
Tom lets out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, whatever. Days later, Jay apologized, and he and Emily decided we needed to ‘handle it as a family’.”
He scoffs. “As if that would fix anything.”
Tom pauses to push himself up from the sand with a frustrated sigh. “These bugs are eating my ankles alive, and it’s pissing me off that I can’t even scratch with these stupid bandages.” He wiggles his fingers. “I feel like a dinosaur with useless little arms.”
Neither of us laughs.
“Let’s go to my car,” I say quietly.
We make our way up the stairs. When we reach the parking lot, my car is the only one left. Tom doesn’t say a word as we climb in. I turn the key in the ignition, but before I can shift into gear, his hand closes around my wrist.
“Wait.”
I glance at him. His face is half in shadow, which makes his expression unreadable.
“I want to stay. I want to tell you everything.”
I kill the engine and remain silent.
Night has settled over the island. The moon creates a silver light over the rippling waves. The stars seem brighter than usual, or maybe that’s just the absence of city lights hiding them.
“We have all the time in the world.” My hand settles back on his. “We can stay all night if you need to.”
His warm, grateful eyes hold mine. He gives me a beautiful smile, even if it’s touched with pain.
A hard swallow before he speaks again.
“I kept my distance because I wanted to give Emily and Jay space to figure things out. I honestly didn't know what to do. All I cared about was making music 24/7, what the fuck did I know about babies? Nothing. But then, Effy and Chris were born, and just like that, becoming a father was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’d never felt a greater love in my life.”
I hum softly. I want to know what that feels like. To have a part of you living inside a child and love them, protect them, with a devotion that feels like the most natural thing in the world.
But wait.
Effy. He’s only mentioned Effy before, not Chris.
I don’t want to assume, but the pieces are clicking together fast.
When I see his eyes well up, it feels like a hand grips my throat.
No. Please. Don’t let this be true.
Tom tries to speak, but his voice catches. Then he just… breaks.
Hands cover his face, shoulders shaking, trying to hold it in. But the sobs come anyway.
