“Just like you were,” I finish for him, awed. I love that he wants to do this. I love that he cares enough for his players to want them to have this kind of crutch.
He nods, before blowing out a slow breath. “Exactly. I was a young athlete when I lost my parents and I didn’t have the proper tools to navigate my grief. And I know I would have benefited from having help—any help—during a dark period like that. I’m sure there are many players on my team who would like to have someone to talk to, but find themselves scared to, since mental health can still be a bit of a taboo topic for certain people.”
I can understand that. “It’s really admirable that you want to do this, Thane.”
“I’ve been speaking to some faculty.” He combs his fingers through his mussed hair. “Trying to get a program up and running in the college. It’ll take some time but I’m optimistic.”
“If there’s anything I can do to help, will you let me know?”
Thane blinks, as if surprised I offered, and his expression gentles. “Yes,” he croaks. “I will.”
We’re silent for a few moments, but it’s not uncomfortable. I’m about to propose we finally clean up when he says, “Marlow, I don’t want to lie to Michaela. It’s not right.”
I gulp. “I know.”
I didn’t like sneaking around behind her back either. It was wrong. Plus, Thane and I shouldn’t have to hide what we feelfor one another, right? Least of all from his sister and my best friend. I gauged that Michaela might be a bit mad that we hid this from her, but she’s not the kind to hold a grudge. The hopeless side of me likes to believe that she’d eventually be happy for us too.
“She deserves to know what happened between us.” Thane grimaces and that look spears into me like an arrow. Is he saying…Is he saying that what happened between us tonight was wrong? “We crossed a line tonight. One we can never return from. I…I have to do the right thing. I’m sorry, Marlow.”
We crossed a line tonight.
I…I have to do the right thing.
I’m sorry, Marlow.
Something about his tone causes my chest to crack open and dread to spill out.
Him saying we crossed a line and he has to do the right thing feels final.
And him apologizing makes it clear to me that he regrets what we did.
We’re over before we even begin.
Oh, I’m in pain.
I blink back my tears and force a smile I don’t feel. On the inside, I feel like I’m dying. But I tell myself it doesn’t matter. Thane may desire me but he never explicitly said he wanted a girlfriend. At the end of the day, I’m still just his sister’s best friend and his temporary housemate. I need to remember my initial plan of going back to his place and packing my bags becausethis? This was never going to be permanent. And for two hours, I made the foolish mistake of assuming that someone—he—could want me for keeps.
We were just two people overcome with passion and we acted on it.
That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m going to be brave and pretend like I’m fine. Go back to his place. Change out of my dress. Pick up my bags and leave like a thief in the night.
I’ll speak to Michaela tomorrow.
Or whenever my heart stops bleeding.
“You’re right, Thane.” My voice is flat. “You have to do the right thing.”
Chapter Ten
THANE
Marlow is quiet on the drive back home. I keep sneaking glances at her, worried about her pensive state. She simply stares out the window, watching the gloomy, blurring-by scenery.
“Are you sure you’re good?” I ask, one hand leaving the steering wheel to grasp her thigh and squeeze.
She turns her head my way and graces me with a practiced smile that makes unease bloom in my chest. “Yup. Just tired. I’ll feel better after a good night’s rest.”
