“Can you keep yourself from telling her the facts?”
“I haven’t yet, have I?”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Sin said.
“Yeah, I can keep a secret.”
“Even if she decides to go back to Fletcher?”
“That won’t happen.” Bear didn’t have one doubt.
Sin’s features relaxed some. “You going to wear a wire at the event?”
“Yeah.”
“Watch yourself while you’re inside. There will be a lot of brass balls attending. If you’re recognized be ready to react.” Sin looked concerned.
“I can keep logic and feelings separated,” Bear said quietly. “You haven’t been around as long as I have. Once you learn you never forget.”
Sin looked disappointed or maybe confused. “Then you’re better at this than most of us would be. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep my emotions out of things.”
A throbbing pulse moved from his forehead and into his temples. “I want to catch the bastards who were behind the ambush. I know you don’t trust me, not after…”
Sin took a few backward steps. “You weren’t responsible for Echo getting shot, Bear. No matter what Grimes says, or even what you think. He chose to move in without backup. He chose to put himself in an unsafe situation. You have a right to have a life, and he would agree. You’re the reason why I’m not dead. You’ve been there more times than I can count. You gave me a chance when no one else did. I can’t put into words how much I respect you and trust you. Because you got caught up that night with a woman, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to care for someone again. Stop letting the guilt punish you.” Sin walked away.
Bear stood there a long time, staring at an empty field.
He had no less than a dozen thoughts running through his mind, and another handful of choices. What if Sin was right? What if Bear carried around guilt that made him want to punish himself.
He reached for his phone from his pocket and dialed Aasia’s number. She answered.
“Can I meet you later?” he said
“Sure.”
“I’ll pick you up in an hour.” He clicked off.
When a man isn’t sure about something then he needed to be sure before he fucked up royally.
Chapter Twelve
Aasia gripped her cell phone. “It’s okay that you can’t make it for my birthday, Mom. There will always be others.”
“You’re such an understanding daughter, Mouse.” Anna used the nickname she used when she was being saccharine sweet. “Sorry to cut this call short, but I must run. My break is almost over, and you know how pissy Harvey can be if I’m a minute late.”
Harvey was the manager at the laundromat where her mother worked the desk and handled the machines. Aasia had a suspicion that Anne and Harvey were more than just boss and employee, but Aasia didn’t have the motivation to ask.
“No problem. We can talk soon.” Soon meant in a few weeks, not a day sooner.
After hanging up, Aasia reminded herself that it truly didn’t matter that her mother wouldn’t be here for a third birthday in a row. It also no longer mattered that her mother wasn’t perfect. At least she held down a job and only asked for money on holidays and not every month like she used to.
Aasia learned early on, around four years old, that her mother wasn’t like the others, not even close. Although back then Aasia had no clue that Anne had a drug and alcohol habit and spent most of her time passed out and not sleeping as it had looked like in the eyes of a child. It was in those early years that Aasia became self-reliant. While Anne lay sprawled out on the sofa, Aasia had spent time with her babysitter. The TV.
At seven, her mother’s habit had spiraled out of control and instead of crashing on the couch after a hard night out with friends, Anne started forgetting to come home. Sometimes for a few days, and one time for an entire week, and that was when neighbors started noticing. Her mother had been good at manipulation and convinced those who were curious that Aasia had a sitter, but eventually the pieces started falling into place. When the case worker showed up at the door and asked questions, Aasia wasn’t brave enough to lie, especially for her mother.
That night she ended up in foster care.
Home for the Blessed and Displaced wasn’t much better than being with her mother. Aasia was told that she would reunite with Anne when she agreed to and completed treatment.
