“I’malwaysprofessional,” she quipped back.
“So you saying that you would rather rub a porcupine on your pussy than work with me, was you being professional?” My eyes narrowed at her and she damn near spit out her water.
“Okay, notmyfinest moment, butyoustarted it!”
“I’m not gonna argue with you on that, but that’s what I need, more people to tell me the real. I have enough people telling me whatever I wanna hear.”
“So what do you want from me?”
“Just give me…you.”Her eyes narrowed at my words, but I stood on it, staring her down. I already knew so much about her, but the need to know more was so strong that it almost hurt.
“Okay. But you’ve been warned, I’ma lot,and now that we have a verbal contract, you can’t go trying to let me go because I cussed you the fuck out. I’ll sue your ass… And win.”
“Bet,” I nodded and held in my laughter. It had been a while since I met a woman as funny as her. She was too quick with the comebacks and had me scrambling to catch up. How anyone could ever call her “a lot” was beyond me because I needed more.
We paused our conversation for a moment so we could order our food, but I couldn’t help the way my eyes landed on her, evenwhen she wasn’t speaking to me. She had every molecule of my attention and didn’t even know it.
My phone rang and I pulled it out, looked at the name, then ignored it. When I found out who the fuck kept giving my sperm donor my phone number, I was cussing them the fuck out.
“Chase, what the hell is that?” she yelped, her eyes wide in confusion as she looked at my phone like it was some sort of alien communication device.
“It’s… my phone.”
“Nigga… You have a flip phone?! Exactly how old are you?”
“36,” I shrugged. Her almond shaped eyes looked at me blankly for a few moments, then she blinked slowly.
“So why would you have a flip phone? With big ass buttons at that!”
“All I need is to make calls and texts, and my phone bill is $25.99 a month! I don’t need all that other shit!”
“Is everythingokay?Like, do I need to get my payment upfront?” I couldn’t tell whether she was kidding or not, but the dead serious expression on her face quickly let me know that she wasn’t and didn’t play about her money.
“I’m good,” I chuckled, knowing that I was more than good. I never really splurged and had enough between my savings and investments for my great grandchildren to never have to struggle. “I just don’t see the point.”
“How do you check your emails? Social media?”
“I have laptops and tablets at the crib, but when I’m out and about, I don’t have time to be reading emails and shit. All that is just a distraction. I play football, and that’s my number one priority. Anything urgent is taken care of by Niko.”
“If someone wanted to send you nudes, ain’t no way you can see em on that lil’ ass screen!” Her thoughts spilled out of her lips, then she immediately snapped them shut.
“I’m actually a physical media type of nigga. No hacking a polaroid. Any more questions?”
“Nah, lemme see it! I really can’t believe this shit! I haven’tseen one of these since atleast’06!” She snatched the phone from me and immediately put it to her ear before saying bye and aggressively flipping it shut no less than five times, each time with a different personality—one of which was French. That time, I had to hold my stomach she had me laughing so hard. It was like I gave her the freedom to be herself, and she immediately showed me how looney she was.
I couldn’t lie; I liked it.
“Are you vegan or something?” I asked, my face frowned up when I saw the salad that she ordered. I swear that motherfucker had every single fruit on the planet, and absolutely no meat.
“No,” she laughed and shook her head. “I just like fruit, any fruit. I prefer it to meat.” She looked at the expression on my face. “You don’t eat fruit?”
“Too many carbs,” I said, looking down at my plate of grilled chicken, brown rice, and broccoli that looked boring as fuck next to her colorful ass dish.
“Oh God. I’m about to represent a lunatic.”
Once she got all her jokes off, she looked down her nose at me like she was looking over an imaginary pair of glasses, then pulled a notebook and pen from her bag.
“Okay, so let’s get down to work.”
