You cooked?
Me
No. I HATE cooking.
Chase
So, you can’t cook. Bet.
Me
I never said that.
Chase
You don’t have to. I played baseball for one season in elementary school, sucked so bad that I never touched a bat again. I’ve hated it since.
Me
We really need to work on your correlation skills. It’s family night. I don’t have time for this. Goodnight, Chase.
Chase
Goodnight, Mufasa.
That one almost took me out, but I wouldn’t give his ass the satisfaction of making me laugh, even if he didn’t know. In the few weeks that I’d known that man, I found out that the flip phone was just the tip of the iceberg. He made Julius from Everybody Hates Chris look like the biggest trick with his cheap ass. I understood being fiscally responsible, but the nigga reused everything down to his damn Ziplock bags, which directly contradictedthe fact that he was a huge germaphobe. It literally made no sense to me, and I had found a sick, twisted joy in watching him lose his shit when I did something that would run his pockets. I had been printing out everything from copies of grocery store receipts to his damn stats, just to get a rise out of him when he had to replace the ink again.
“Who got you over there laughing?” AJ asked as he attempted to snatch my phone again, this time I dodged his hands.
“None of your damn business!” I said, sticking my tongue out at him.
We had just calmed down when we heard the front door open and a loud voice echoing off the walls.
“The Greatest Lewis is here! Let’s get this party started!”
We all rolled our eyes in unison. If there was a fool in every bunch, my twenty-three-year-old brother Amari was that fool, in every damn bunch. He strolled in, headphones on full blast and without a care in the world that we had been starving to death for almost an hour waiting on his goofy ass.
“Lil’ nigga, where the hell you been?” AJ said as he pushed him upside his head.
“Relax, I’m not that late, and I ain’t that lil’.” His goofy ass laughed like everything was okay. It took the youngest person in the room to get him together.
“Uncle Amari, you see this?” She gestured to my phone. “This is called a cell phone, there are lots of cool features, and you can call and text people and let them know that you’ll be late.”
“I”m sorry Lil’ Bit,” he said as he pulled her into a hug. “You forgive me?”
“My stomach is touching my back,” she said with a blank stare.
“Tough crowd,” he laughed and so did I when I watched him slide a few twenties into her hand.
“Where are y’all’s parents? I’m hungry as hell.” The three of us gave him a look that could have melted the soles off his shoes. Weall had the same damn face, down to the baby, the perfect blend of our parents, all in the same chocolate skin tone.
“You took so long that they ran off to the back! Probably being nasty!” AJ said with a shudder.
“Oh no lil’ boy, now you in my business,” my mom teased as she and my dad seemed to materialize from thin air. We immediately went to grab the food from the oven where it was warming to take it to the already set table.
“Do whatever y’all need to do… As long as you don’t bring another one ofthesehome,” I said as I rolled my eyes and gestured towards Amari.
“Don’t be a hater, May! Just because you were such a disappointment that they decided they couldn’t end the legacy with you!” he teased.
