I sucked my teeth before my mouth blurted out, “I’m not dying… I fucked Amaya.” When nobody in the room looked even the least bit moved, I looked around in shock.
“Y’all knew?” I asked.
“Listen, we had our suspicions, but after the camp and that last fight… it was pretty obvious,” Justin shrugged.
“Why the fuck didn’t y’all say anything?”
“Because we know how you get. When you were ready, we knew you would say something. I’m guessing after everything, she’s not really fuckin’ with you right now?
“You hit the nail on the head,” I nodded, then winced at the last voicemail that Amaya left me saying that if I didn’t stop calling her, she was gonna fly back to L.A. to shove a goal post up my ass.
“I fucking miss her,” I barely whispered.
“I feel you,” Johnathan barely whispered back.
“Nigga, what the fuck is wrong withyou?” Justin asked.
“Nothin, nothing. I’m good.” He shook his head.
“So what you gon’ do?” Niko asked.
“I wanna be with her. I haven’t been able to think of anything but being with her since the day I met her crazy ass. I just need her to fuckin’ talk to me. I’m going crazy,” I said with a groan. They just looked at me sympathetically.
“And another thing, why thefuckdidn’t you tell us that Chanel’s goofy ass was tryin’ to blackmail you?!” Justin snapped.
“I thought I could get past this shit. I really didn’t wanna dragher through that. She’s been through enough, and I didn’t want to be another contributing factor to her pain.”
“Nah, nigga,” Niko said with a furious expression on his face. He looked like he was ready to drag Chanel through the mud. That’s exactly why I didn’t tell his ass about Chanel, because he would have either insisted on going Amaya’s route and airing her out to the world, or another, darker path. “You already know I wasn’t goin’ for that shit, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell me. I understand you trying to protect her, but not at your expense. Amaya was trying to protectyouand you took it out on her.”
“I know.” I hung my head in shame. “I know it was dumb as hell, and I really didn’t even mean to get that upset with her. It was just the fact that I was blindsided. I should have known she would do some shit like that. She’s so fuckin’ headstrong and stubborn. I never met anyone as stubborn as her ass,” I said with a dreamy sigh. I really missed the fuck out of her crazy ass. Life felt so boring since she left and I didn’t know how I was just supposed to go back to how things were before I knew her.
Johnathan shifted in his seat, and it seemed like the more we spoke, the more agitated he got.
“Nigga,” I said with a frown. “Isyougood?”
“Nah, I gotta go…” he said looking like a fiend that was three days off his last hit.
“Go where?” I asked.
“I’m over here tryna talk you down… Meanwhile, I need to go getmywoman.”
“Nigga, that ain’t why we’re here!” Niko snapped, visibly annoyed.
“Excuse the fuck outta me, but listen, maybe you never been in love like I been in love!” he began as he sprung to his feet.
“Oh brother!” Justin groaned, rubbing his hand over his face.
“And maybe you never felt the shit that I felt!”
“Please nigga,” I huffed, but he continued on.
“But you know, sometimes… you get lo?—”
“Johnathan! Shut the fuck up with that shit!” Niko barked just in time, because I had just sworn to myself that if that nigga broke into song, somebody was leaving with their ass whooped.
“You know what? I hope you work your shit out with Amaya, I really do… but I got a flight to catch right now. Y’all stay up though.” He literally ran out of the house, a man on a mission. I wanted to talk shit, but that’s what my weak ass should have been doing.
“What the fuck is he on?” Justin asked.
