He watches me, expression unchanged, calm, as though amused. “Linnéa... still wears that yellow ribbon in her hair, doesn’t she?”
At the mention of my sister, my heart clenches painfully. Her face flashes before my eyes. The one person I couldn’t bear to lose. I nod quickly, sweat dripping down my forehead, my mouth dry. “I understand.”
“Good,” the stranger says, leaning on the wall. “Now, rest. You’ll need your strength for what’s to come.”
With shaky hands, I stare at him.
“GO!” he shouts through the window, and the wagon jolts forward.
My heart drops. There are more outside?
The stranger’s words echo in my mind, each one sealing my fate. There is no turning back now. I am trapped. With a heavy heart, I lie down among the blankets. My choices are no longer my own.
19
A NEW ROAD, A HEAVY CROSS
“One day, our Noël will begin her path where the veil is thinnest... and in that sacred place, her soul will bind not only to him, but to something far older than this world.”
—Eyleen Ársa
Noël
Moonlight and shadows blur around us, and Theron’s coat rubs between my thighs with his every stride toward Ávera. I grip his fur tight, trying to steady myself by focusing on the rhythm of his paws pounding the earth.
Sometimes it seems like he slows and steals glances at me, as if he senses it too. I squeeze my eyes shut, my face burning. Despite my attempts to push the thought aside, it stays, quickening my pulse even more. Theron said he could pick up even the faintest scents, which means... he can likely sense me now. Goddesses.
I need to put a piece of cloth in at some point. I can’t enter vólkin land with so much wetness between my legs. I don’t understand any of this.
Every few hours, Theron would pause, letting me stretch and shake the ache from my muscles. Without a word, he’d hand me small bundles of fruits he’d gathered along the way. Even when I insisted I wasn’t hungry, he’d hold them out, worry clear in his eyes as he muttered about needing strength for the long day ahead. It was strange, this attention, and unexpected from someone like him, a vólkin warrior. Each time he did it, I couldn’t help but think how thoughtful he was. He was trying, really trying to make this journey easier, even with everything stacked against me. Who would’ve thought a vólkin could be so... human?
When I first told him I needed... relief, I could barely get the words out, mumbling and stumbling, unsure how to say it. Theron only tilted his head, asking if my stomach hurt, and I wanted to sink into the ground from embarrassment. I tried to explain without sayingthe word, and eventually, his eyes lit up.
“You need to urinate?” he asked, as straightforward as a child.
Goddesses, I just nodded, feeling my face heat even more as he took a few steps back, gestured for me to go ahead, and promised he’d keep me safe. I had to tell him to turn away, and he only looked at me in confusion, his head tilting like a puzzled pup. I told him it was like when I didn’t want him to watch me bathe, and he let out a soft “Oh!” and nodded.
It strikes me how primal he is, how even with all his tenderness, he is still a beast. Somehow, though, I almost find it... adorable.
Except for the part where he pissed right on my own puddle after I was done. He said that since we aren’t fully bonded yet, he needs to have his scent on me at all times. To be honest, I’m too exhausted to argue. It is probably a vólkin thing, and I just... I can’t.
So, what have I learned so far?
He wags his tail when happy, tilts his head when confused, and pisses on my piss so it smells of him. And all of that with so much confidence, as if everything is normal, like that is simply how things work for him.
For me? I don’t know what I think about it. Interesting? Weird? I still can’t believe he made me some sort of coat from his fur.
“Theron,” I finally say. “Could you let me down?”
He slows, lowering himself with that natural grace of his, his muscles moving beneath his fur like a river in motion.
The moment my boots meet the earth, my legs wobble, unsteady from hours of holding on to him.
I used to ride horses back in Tárnov, but never for so long. A full day of riding, even with breaks, has left me aching. And this was no ordinary ride. Theron is much wider than a horse.
“You alright?” His voice rumbles beside me.
I look up, and he holds my gaze as he rises to his full stature. He is definitely at least twice my height.
