Not at ease. Not even a little. It made her skin prickle and her heart pound.
But it also made her feel safe. Seen and protected. She might be standing by herself, but she was not alone.
And then she really wasn’t alone because Lord Alderton found her within minutes. He bowed and complimented her gown and made pleasant conversation. He was, as ever, kind and attentive and genuinely interested. And she liked him. She did.
It was just that liking felt so tepid compared to whatever was happening in her chest when she was aware of Sebastian's gaze from across the room.
"Would you do me the honor?" Lord Alderton gestured toward the dance floor.
She smiled. "I'd be delighted."
They danced, and it was…lovely. He was a good dancer, steady and confident. He made pleasant conversation as they moved through the figures, and she responded with appropriate warmth, and all the while she was painfully aware of Sebastian's position in the room.
It was like dancing in the orbit of a sun. Everywhere she turned, she could feel the pull.
And it was madness. She was dancing with a perfectly wonderful man, and yet thinking about a man who seemed to just barely tolerate her presence.
But Thea's words kept circling back. “I do not believe that is obligation, dear.”
Then, could it be him? Could it have been him all along? The paid bills, the vanished suitors, the mysterious benefactor?
She very much wanted to march across the ballroom and demand an answer.
She wanted other things too. And much as she hated the thought, she wished that he’d been the one who’d asked her to dance.
She wished it was him, and not Lord Alderton, who smiled down at her now as they left the dance floor. "Thank you, Miss Hale. You dance beautifully."
Guilt niggled in her belly because she knew her thoughts had been elsewhere the entire time. "You're very kind."
Alderton excused himself to greet an acquaintance, and Estella was left with a head full of questions that needed to be answered.
The duchess stood with friends nearby and she ought to join her. But the ballroom was warm, the crowd pressing, and her new gown felt suddenly constricting.
She needed air. Just for a moment.
She slipped through the terrace doors and out onto the stone balcony. The night air was cool and blissfully quiet. She moved to the railing and tilted her face toward the sky.
The stars were faint, but the moon was bright, and Estella drank in the fresh air. She didn't know how long she stood there, but it was long enough for the chill to creep beneath the thin silk of her gown.
However, it was not long enough to sort out a single confusing thought in her head.
"Miss Hale." The voice from behind her was warm and familiar. "You look as though you could use some company."
She turned. Mr. Fairchild stood near the terrace doors, his smile easy and his posture relaxed.
Surprise flickered through her. "Mr. Fairchild. I didn't expect to see you this evening."
"I've been away. Business in the country." He stepped closer. "You look lovely tonight. That color suits you."
"Thank you, but I was just about to go back in?—"
"So soon?" He took another step, and now he was close enough that she caught the sharp sweetness of wine on his breath. "We barely had a chance to talk last time. I felt we were just getting to know one another, and then you disappeared behind a wall of duchesses and marquesses." His smile turned rueful. "A man’s pride could be wounded, you know."
She managed a polite laugh, but something had shifted. The easy charm that had seemed so warm at their first meeting now felt different here in the dark. "My apologies, but I should really?—"
"Stay. Just for a moment." His hand found the railing beside her, not quite blocking her path but narrowing it considerably. He leaned in, dropping his voice as though sharing a confidence. "I've thought about you. Quite a lot, actually."
Her back pressed against the cold stone of the balustrade. The terrace was empty. The ballroom noise felt very far away.
