"Who precisely is responsible for you, Miss Evermore?" The duchess's tone was not unkind, but it demanded an answer.
Thea opened her mouth. Closed it. Adjusted her spectacles.
"Never mind," the duchess said. But her eyes lingered on Thea with open curiosity for a moment longer before she turned back to Estella. "Miss Hale. I have spent the better part of a month introducing you to the right people, securing invitations, arranging your wardrobe, and building a reputation that could open doors for you and your sister. All of which you very nearly ruined by visiting a gaming establishment in the dead of night."
The words stung. Mostly because they were accurate. Estella twined her fingers together to keep from fidgeting. "I know. And I'm sorry. It was…reckless."
"It was foolish," the duchess corrected. Then, more quietly, "Though I confess I'm curious what drove you to it."
Estella looked at her hands. She could give the simple answer. The mystery benefactor, the paid debts, the trail she’d followed. But that wasn't really why she'd gone.
Shame welled up in her. The duchess was right, of course. After all she’d done for Estella and her family, she hadn’t deserved what Estella had done.
And at the very least, she was owed a truthful explanation. Estella fumbled with her thoughts, trying to figure out where to begin. How much to admit. "I was angry," she said softly. "And hurt. I needed to do something."
The duchess was quiet for a moment. "Because of what happened at the ball."
Estella looked up, startled, and the duchess met her gaze. "You kissed him," the duchess said. "Or he kissed you. The specifics hardly matter. What matters is what happened afterward."
Estella's cheeks burned. "How— When?—"
"Rest assured, Miss Hale. When it comes to you, Lord Blackwood, and anyone else affected by that fire, there is little I do not know."
Estella’s brows came down in confusion. Anyone else affected by the fire…?
Of course she recalled that the duchess’s sister had lost her life in that tragedy. But she hadn’t heard the other woman speak of that night before.
But the duchess was staring at her with an expectant look, and Estella swallowed hard.
"I kissed him," she said. "And he kissed me back. But then he told me it was a mistake. He told me everything he'd done for me this Season was out of obligation. Or…guilt, rather." The words poured out of her now.
Perhaps because the duchess was listening so patiently, and Thea wore such a kind expression. She found her words coming out quicker and with an embarrassing amount of emotion. "He’d only agreed to help with my debut because of the fire. Because he blames himself for Andrew's death. And then he told me he has an understanding with another woman. A practical match." She sniffed far too loudly for polite company. "Mutually beneficial, he said."
The words tasted like ash. Perhaps because no one needed to point out that there would be no benefit in marrying Miss Estella Hale. She had a dowry, yes, but it was of little consequence to an esteemed marquess like Sebastian. And what else did she have to offer? A crumbling estate and a gambler of a father? A little sister who'd need support and protection just as Estella did now? Her head dipped as a wave of self-pity and humiliation washed over her.
The silence that followed her little speech only made Estella want to sink further into the settee. Were it to open up and swallow her whole, she’d have welcomed the escape. When she finally peeked over at Thea, she saw nothing but sympathy in her friend’s eyes.
As for the duchess, her expression was more difficult to discern. "He told you everything he's done was out of…guilt," she said slowly.
Estella nodded.
"And you believed him," the duchess added.
Estella shifted in her seat. "He was very convincing."
The duchess set her teacup down. "Miss Hale. I told you when we first met to use your eyes. To trust a man’s actions over his words. Do you remember?"
Estella nodded. "Yes, Your Grace."
"Good. Then let me ask you something." The duchess leaned forward slightly. "Forget what Blackwood said. Forget the words. I want you to think about what he did. Or rather, what he's done."
Estella frowned. "He pushed me away."
"Before that. Think about every action Sebastian has taken since this arrangement began."
The drawing room was quiet. Morning light fell through the windows and caught the dust motes drifting in the air as Estella…thought.
She thought about how he'd covered her with his coat in the rain. How he'd protected her from Fairchild with such possessive authority. How he'd kissed her back with a desperate hunger. But also…the little things. His eyes on her, the twitch of his lips, the feel of his hand on her back. Even the gentleness of his hands on her at that first ball. The tenderness that had belied his gruff words.
